Chapter 199

Chapter 199

A person's preferences often reveal their character — not always with certainty, but there's usually some basis behind it.

After Xie Shiqing lost her sight, it was said that many things in the villa were changed, but the flowers in the garden remained.

She never went to see them, but she also never asked anyone to get rid of them.

Suddenly, Zhong Ning remembered the first time she had made Xie Shiqing upset — she had asked the butler for some roses to apologize, intending to offer flowers as a peace gesture.

How naive she had been back then, as innocent as someone experiencing life for the first time, only knowing how to pour her heart out without considering whether the other party even wanted it.

Completely defenseless.

She pressed her lips together and set the roses down by the edge of the table.

Across from her, Xie Shiqing showed a fleeting trace of heartache, then quickly put on a smile again.

For some reason, Zhong Ning suddenly felt a bit weary.

How long would she have to stay entangled with Xie Shiqing like this? This so-called colleague act, this “Jingjing” charade — how much longer would it go on?

This person was definitely not going to give up.

Was she really expected to be entangled with her for a lifetime?

The best solution, really, was to quickly start a new relationship — cut off Xie Shiqing’s hopes completely.

But Zhong Ning couldn't do it. She hadn’t yet come out of the pain of this relationship, and she wasn’t capable of putting on a show with someone else just to trick Xie Shiqing into giving up.

Even more impossible was becoming friends with her.

Whether it was about being friends with someone who liked her, or watching her ex move on and fall for someone else — neither could be faced with a clear conscience or calm acceptance.

The former would be exploiting someone’s feelings and love, an invisible torment, forcing them to meet her expectations just because they liked her — “I won’t accept you, but we can be friends, and you can keep pleasing me.”

Who did she think she was? A slave owner? Was Xie Shiqing her personal property, to be treated however she pleased?

And the latter — watching someone she had truly loved fall in love with someone else — maybe some could accept that, but she couldn’t.

Just the thought of those words of love once meant for her now being spoken to someone else made it impossible for her to let go.

Someone as proud as Xie Shiqing, lowering herself to please her — somehow, it left Zhong Ning with a sense of sorrow.

There really was no need. She wasn’t some perfect, exceptional person. Why hold on so tightly?

So… maybe it was better to leave after all.

Staying apart, not seeing each other — that was the best choice.

She would gradually forget Xie Shiqing. Xie Shiqing would probably come out of this love eventually, too. Since she had already started the process of emotional healing, sooner or later she would reconcile with the past and with herself.

By then, she would understand — Zhong Ning wasn’t someone irreplaceable.

If the Lanheng Foundation ran smoothly, then she would return to her old work. Charity work didn’t require much — just money transfers, occasional follow-ups. She could travel the world, maintain her social media accounts abroad — life would still be full of color.

A server brought over a large pot, poured a broth full of meat into the hot pot on the table, added various vegetables and sides, and finally covered it with a lid. “It needs to cook for another ten minutes before it’s ready to eat.”

She then placed two bowls of yam puree dessert and a plate of cold salad on the table. “Please enjoy.”

After the server left, Xie Shiqing stared at the steaming hot pot for a moment, then suddenly curved her eyes and smiled. “Ning-jiejie, why don’t we chat? Just sitting like this feels so awkward.”

Zhong Ning said, “Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

Xie Shiqing looked into her eyes and asked, with a hint of curiosity, “Has Ning-jiejie ever liked someone before?”

"Yes." Zhong Ning said, "The person I liked looked a lot like you."

"Do you not feel anything at all now?"

"It's complicated." Zhong Ning spoke her mind with complete honesty, wanting Xie Shiqing to truly understand her thoughts. "I still like her, but at the same time, I don’t. What I feel for her might not even be love—it’s an emotion I can’t fully describe myself."

"When it comes to feelings, I’m indecisive. Even though I know what I should do, I can never bring myself to be ruthless enough to cut everything off completely."

Under the sudden brightness in the other’s eyes, Zhong Ning shifted the tone of her words. "But no matter how long this process takes, I believe I’ll come out of it eventually."

"You don’t want to give it another try?" Xie Shiqing asked with difficulty, her lips trembling slightly. "Maybe she really has changed and understands what went wrong. Can’t you give each other one more chance?"

"I already did." Zhong Ning said calmly. "More than once."

"Why is it that only after losing someone do you finally begin to truly reflect and regret? Why not change earlier? Was the love not deep enough?"

Xie Shiqing rushed to refute her, but was stopped by a single look from Zhong Ning. "Not loving enough, or being fearless—taking love as a shield, acting out recklessly, overly confident. At its core, it’s still putting the other person beneath you, believing it’s fine not to change, because she’ll always forgive me, she loves me, she can’t live without me."

"Whatever the reason, the outcome is obvious."

"Besides, this so-called ‘second chance’—is it something I want, or something my ex wants?"

Xie Shiqing’s face instantly turned pale.

"When she didn’t want to change, she didn’t. And when she does, she wants reconciliation. Everything follows her wishes. But has she ever considered the other person's feelings? Whether they even want any of this?"

"It’s not like that… I’m not…" Xie Shiqing's voice turned hoarse, but she couldn’t finish a full sentence.

"Have you never thought about it that way, or have you simply never thought that much?"

"Honestly, there’s not much difference between the two."

Zhong Ning used her spoon to evenly spread the fruit jam on top of the yam puree. Her expression was calm, as if entirely devoid of emotion. "I can understand, but understanding doesn’t mean I can accept it."

The timer on the table let out a series of beeps. Zhong Ning turned it off and lifted the lid of the steaming pot. A strong aroma of meat wafted out. A server came over, sprinkled a handful of freshly chopped green scallions on top, then used a ladle with a long handle to serve two bowls of soup from the pot.