Chapter 53 : The Tea Party

Linda clapped her hands twice—clap, clap!

At once, masked men emerged and approached the table. They began preparing tea with precise, orderly movements, the sound of clinking porcelain filling the air.

Their masks made it impossible to read their expressions.

‘Who are these men supposed to be?’

If I killed Linda, would I have to kill them as well?

As I watched, one of the masked attendants met my gaze.

He looked at me for a heartbeat, then quickly turned away to focus on the tea.

“……”

Brief as it was, I read his eyes clearly.

‘Please spare me.’

So they weren’t following Linda out of loyalty.

I stored that fact away for later.

I continued to watch their careful tea-making, then looked across the table at the grinning madwoman.

She sat there, smiling ear to ear, staring at me as if nothing in the world mattered more.

I locked eyes with her in silence before chiding her like a scolding parent.

“Crazy girl. At least introduce the drinks to your guest.”

The attendants froze.

A few glanced at me in alarm, while others flicked their eyes nervously toward Linda.

“Ah, sorry!”

Linda clasped her hands in apology.

“Where’s my head? Of course I should explain!”

The masked men looked even more startled. Clearly, few people dared speak to this lunatic so bluntly.

But me? I always did as I pleased.

Linda explained cheerfully, “The first tea is monkshood root!”

As if on cue, the attendants finished their preparations. They stepped back in unison.

One of them carried a teapot toward Linda.

“Serve the guest first!” she scolded.

“My apologies.”

The masked man approached me instead.

It was the same one who’d met my eyes earlier.

He carefully poured the tea into my cup.

Trickle—

“Be cautious, it’s hot,” he murmured.

A brown liquid steamed from the cup.

Linda continued,

“It’s brewed long with monkshood root. And then…”

Another attendant approached with a small dish. With a spoon, he plopped white, bean-like berries into my tea. Each had a black dot in the middle, resembling little eyeballs.

“And when you add Whitevein Berries, it’s complete!”

The attendants poured two more cups for Linda.

She raised hers and grinned.

“Drink up!”

And she downed it in a single gulp.

Chewing on the berries, she swallowed and gave a satisfied laugh.

“Delicious! Perfect temperature too. Come on, try it!”

Clink.

I raised my cup, peering into the murky liquid.

It looked like eyeballs floating in muddy water.

When I brought it to my nose, my sense of smell went numb instantly, and my eyes burned.

“Ugh…”

I grimaced, forcing my breathing steady.

Linda giggled.

“Pretty, isn’t it? And it tastes even better! Drink!”

Recalling the Heavenly Demon’s guidance, I gathered my Qi, forming a thin protective layer inside my mouth, extending it down into my stomach.

That membrane would keep the poison from devouring me completely.

Then I drank.

Slurp—

Truthfully, I nearly spat it back out at once.

It felt like my tongue was burning away.

But I held on and forced it down.

“Mmph.”

I couldn’t swallow right away, the tea searing my mouth.

The floating “eyeballs” bumped against my tongue.

Without thinking, I bit one.

A tiny explosion burst inside my mouth.

“Mmff!”

I almost spewed it out, but clenched my lips shut and forced myself to endure.

Crack!

My fists tightened, my legs trembling with tension.

The taste was utterly vile—but since I’d bitten one, I decided I might as well chew them all.

Each one burst like pulling out teeth with pliers.

Grinding them down, I swallowed.

The fire moved from my throat to my stomach.

From deep within, curses spilled out.

“Goddamn son of a—”

Linda asked brightly,

“Good, right? Delicious?”

I barely held back the urge to smash her head open, instead raising a hand.

“Wait. I need to savor this.”

I sat cross-legged where I was and began circulating Qi.

I sent it marching toward my stomach.

There, my inner energy clashed violently with the invading toxins.

Sweat poured down my face.

“Mmmph!”

In the end, my Qi prevailed.

The poison surrendered, and I expelled the remnants.

I guided the toxins through my meridians, slipped my hand beneath the table, and forced them out through my fingertips.

Dark venom dripped onto the ground.

Ssshh—

The earth sizzled as it corroded.

Only then did I open my eyes.

“Phew…”

Heat surged through my body.

It felt like I had just bathed in molten lava.

Lifting my head, I saw Linda’s eyes sparkle.

“Well? Well?”

I answered honestly,

“My whole body’s burning.”

Her smile widened.

“Right?”

I nodded.

“What’s next?”

“Mm! The second tea is made by steeping Jimsonweed in water, then adding slices of blue-ringed octopus! I call it… Cold Death!”

“…Cold Death?”

The first tea had been monkshood root. Why was the second named like a horror story?

My doubts didn’t matter.

The attendants busied themselves again, brewing.

Soon, they presented a pale blue tea, topped with delicately cut octopus tentacles.

The tentacles were speckled with ominous blue rings—like countless staring eyes.

For a moment, I felt those eyes glare straight at me.

A hallucination? Side effects from monkshood?

I nearly gagged.

“Looks delicious!”

Linda downed hers in one shot.

Chewing the octopus, she shivered with delight.

“Chewy! And the popping flavor—mm!”

Her body trembled as she closed her eyes.

I glared at her, then drew a deep breath and threw back my cup.

At once, I understood the name.

Cold Death.

My mouth froze solid, burning cold.

Not just cold—cold enough to scorch.

Biting into the octopus, lightning struck my brain.

My senses blazed.

Before I knew it, tears streamed down my face.

Mucus streamed from my nose.

At least I kept my mouth shut tight, so the drool didn’t escape.

Grinding my teeth, I forced it all down.

Cold lightning crackled madly as it seared its way down my throat.

At once, I summoned my Qi.

Another war ignited in my gut. The toxins resisted furiously, but after a long struggle, they surrendered.

I dragged the defeated poison out and expelled it through my fingertips.

Sszzzt—

Where fresh grass had grown, the ground turned pitch black.

“…How does it taste?”

Linda asked carefully.

I wiped my tears and snot away, then grinned.

“Fantastic.”

Linda clapped with delight.

“No one has ever taken my tea so seriously before!”

I nodded solemnly.

“It deserves it.”

Linda covered her mouth, eyes shining with flustered joy.

“Oh my…!”

I imagined that’s the sort of look a normal girl gives when she falls in love.

Normally, I wouldn’t have cared. But with poison eating through me, the sight made me want to slap her face raw.

Side effect of the poison? Or maybe just hatred for someone who could brew such godawful things?

My head burned.

“So romantic! Can I nibble your nose?”

I squeezed my eyes shut and answered, swallowing curses with superhuman will.

“No.”

“Aw…”

Smack!

I slapped my own cheek hard to steady my mind.

I couldn’t kill her before this tea party ended.

Would I waste such a perfect chance to grow stronger?

This pain was nothing.

I recalled the darkness where no light shone, when I swung my sword day after day against despair itself.

The helplessness that gnawed at me, the despair, the unseen hope—that was the true poison.

Compared to that solitude, this poison was sweet. Sickeningly sweet. Sweet enough to rot teeth!

I bit down on my tongue.

The taste of blood filled my mouth as one corner of my lips curled upward.

Blood dripped down my chin.

“Next. Bring it.”

Linda beamed.

“Mm-hm!”

One after another, worse teas followed.

“This one’s Tongue of Hell! Brewed with king cobra, crown-of-thorns starfish, and deathcap mushroom venom!”

A sinister purple brew, as ominous as its name.

“This one’s Magma! Mixed from marble cone snails, box jellyfish, and deathstalker scorpion!”

A lava-red liquid that seemed to sear the eyes.

“And this one… hasn’t got a name yet! You think of one! Pretty color, right? When you combine golden poison dart frog, wandering spider, stonefish, and Lonomia caterpillar venom, you get this bright yellow glow!”

A neon-yellow concoction, toxic brilliance in liquid form.

One by one, I downed them all.

I was a man used to pain.

I’d been beaten bloody, stabbed, slashed more times than I could count.

But this… this was pain unlike anything I’d ever known.

Agony burning from the inside out.

It felt as though my eyes were flipping in their sockets, as if a volcano erupted in my mouth, as if my stomach was tearing apart. I saw veins bulging at my temples until they burst in hallucination. My tongue felt like it was melting. Sometimes I couldn’t breathe. I checked if my tongue was still attached. At random, nosebleeds gushed forth.

The Qi barrier didn’t block everything.

Yet I never left a drop in the cup.

Every time, I purged the subdued poison through my fingertips.

Drip. Drip.

Black droplets spread in dark rings around the table.

Before long, the ground around us became a barren circle of death.

“Heheheh.”

At some point, I realized I was laughing.

“Heeheehee.”

Linda laughed too.

Or… was I laughing because she was?

I couldn’t tell.

Suddenly drowsiness hit me hard. But I knew if I gave in, I might never wake again. I gouged my thigh to stay alert.

“Devil! The last tea!”

Linda swayed unsteadily to her feet, giggling like a drunk.

“Heeheehee! Drink this, and you’ll be my friend!”

She staggered, bracing herself on the table.

Then, with a sweep of her arm—

Crash!

The teaware shattered across the ground.

In the empty space, she slammed down a single teapot.

She pulled items from her pockets—pouring in strange liquids from vials, squeezing the juices of bizarre substances into the pot.

Grabbing whatever she had on hand, tossing it in without thought.

She looked less like a hostess than a deranged alchemist mixing potions.

Giggling, she said, “These ingredients are a secret! Heeheehee!”

She hummed a tune, swaying like she was dancing, shaking the teapot wildly before finally setting the lid.

“Eheheheh!”

Carrying it herself, she poured me a cup.

Trickle—

It looked like plain water.

Clear. Odorless.

But my chest thumped with anticipation.

How horrible would this be?

Linda planted her hands on her hips and declared proudly, “This is my masterpiece! I can’t brag, but… it’s the finest poison I’ve ever made! Heeheehee!”

She poured herself a cup and raised it high, eyes gleaming.

“The final tea! I’m trembling!”

“Heh. So am I, you crazy girl.”

“I feel like… I’ll finally have a friend for the first time!”

I lifted my cup with her.

“You must’ve searched for a lot of friends, huh?”

She nodded eagerly.

“Mm-hm! But I never made one!”

So that’s what she’d been doing—dragging people here, forcing them into her parties.

None survived.

In the end, all her “tea parties” were just torture and death by poison.

Holding her cup, Linda said with a shaky grin, “This last one’s hard, even for me. It risks my life too!”

“Is that so?”

“Ready?”

I smirked.

“Always.”

“Here we gooo!”

She downed it in one gulp, then slammed her head onto the table with a thud.

…Dead?

“Heh.”

I stared into my own glass of colorless, odorless death, then tipped it back.

And I blacked out.

(End of Chapter)

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