WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Surviving the Assassin Academy as a Professor

Translator: Touch

Editor: Grass

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Chapter 77: Kendrake 2.0 (1)

In recent days, Gloomy, the chief professor of Illusion Magic Studies at Kreutz, had not been in a good mood.

In fact, that was putting it mildly—she was in a horrendously foul mood.

She spent her entire day biting her nails as she watched Hiaka Academy through her [Mirage].

…What is that illusion? What on earth is that thing?

The gigantic Christmas tree had appeared out of nowhere and instantly became a famous attraction at Hiaka. Tourists from across the continent began flocking to see it.

What the fuck is that?! How could anyone cast such an illusion…?

Even Gloomy herself—chief professor and once ranked among the top three illusion mages in Hiaka—considered it an impossible feat. It was nothing short of a miraculous display of supernatural ability.

Now, both she and Battalion were facing a major crisis in Kreutz. The Kreutz royal family and the academy’s administration had turned their backs on them.

They had received a fortune in exchange for betraying their nation and stealing all the data on illusion arts at Hiaka.

Yet, their stolen data contained nothing at all about this so-called “Professor Cain.”

“Isn’t this different from what you told us, Chief Professor Gloomy?” asked Kreutz Academy’s board chairman, gazing at her sternly.

Gloomy lowered her head. “…I believe they secretly brought in an illusion mage from the Empire. The person known as Cain didn’t exist in Hiaka. They’re clearly playing mind games with us.”

“And where’s the evidence for that?”

She remained silent.

“Just your speculation, I see. Is this how you handled your duties back in Hiaka, Chief Gloomy?”

Again, she said nothing.

“Well, unfortunately, Kreutz does not operate in such a manner.”

Gloomy clenched her jaw so tightly that it felt like her teeth might chip and break.

“Kreutz Academy intends to hold you strictly accountable for this incident.”

“I-If you give us a bit more time…”

“No. The tree already exists. It’s real. And people from around the world are rushing to visit it. That fact is not going to change, no matter how much time we give you.”

Another long silence followed.

“You both will need to pay the penalty fees for breach of contract.”

With that final warning, both Gloomy and Battalion were forced to return a total of 1.7 billion hika to Kreutz—an utterly gut-wrenching sum to lose so suddenly.

The next day, Battalion had a meltdown.

“Chief Gloomy! What the hell is this about?! I leave for a short while, and you lose us 1.7 billion hika?!”

“Shut the fuck up! You think you’re the only one who lost money? You’re responsible for this, too! You said you'd handle Hiaka’s Assassin Department on your own! Yet you didn’t know anything about this Cain bastard—and you still don’t! How does any of this make sense?!”

“I told you I never miss a thing! There’s nothing I don’t know! So it’s not my fault! You should’ve told the board chairman that Cain was from the Empire!”

“I did! I fucking told them exactly that!”

Their relationship was beginning to fracture.

* * *

I sat blankly on the office couch, waiting for someone.

Our appointed time had long since passed, yet no one had shown up.

I’d heard that Putin was known for being late to meetings, and that Trump once arrived even later just to assert dominance. 

Was this one of those kinds of psychological plays?

…She’s late.

Still, I sat patiently, waiting. But as I waited, I began to feel a pair of eyes on me.

For the past five minutes, my new teaching assistant, Ran, had been sitting quietly beside me, staring intently in my direction.

“What are you staring at?”

“You, Professor.”

“Why?”

“There is no particular reason.”

“I see.”

“Yes.”

A pause followed.

Ran was like a machine. She had a razor-sharp bob cut, wore a perfectly pressed suit, had flawless skin, and moved without wasting a single motion.

“Do you have germophobia?” I asked.

“I do not.”

I swiped some dust off the table with my finger and tapped it onto the back of her hand.

Then I waited for a reaction.

“…”

She barely even flinched.

Ran simply glanced briefly at the dust on her hand, then looked back up at me.

The silence lingered. I felt like I’d just left a fingerprint on a spotless glass window. I sighed, pulled out a wet wipe, and cleaned the dust off her hand.

“…Are you going to keep staring?” I asked.

“You should know assassins don’t like being watched. Look somewhere else.”

“Understood.”

Ran turned her gaze to the window, toward the empty sky and drifting clouds.

What is with this girl?

The more I got to know her, the stranger she seemed.

Just then, I noticed a winter mandarin on the desk. I picked it up and gently placed it on top of Ran’s head.

Her head swiveled like an owl’s as her gaze shifted back to me.

“What is it?” she asked.

“A mandarin.”

“Does it give you any powers or something?”

“No, it does not.”

“Then what does? I remember you mentioning eggs.”

“Bananas work too.”

“What power does a banana give you?”

“It makes me better at climbing trees.”

“…That’s surprisingly practical. Do you have any powers related to combat?”

Ran reached into her pocket and pulled out a headband. Attached upright in the center of it was a sword with a broken blade.

“What’s that?”

“This is the Excalibur Headband. Wearing it improves combat skills.”

She put it on. It looked like she’d been stabbed on the top of the head with a sword, just waiting for someone to pull it out.

I stared at her in disbelief.

Seriously, what is with this girl?

Just then, the door opened and Adele stepped inside.

“Professor! I’m here to prepare for the end-of-semester—ah.”

She paused when she saw Ran. Was it the sword sticking out of her head? Or was it because…

“You’re preparing for the end of the semester?” I asked.

“…Ah, yes. May I take Assistant Ran with me?”

Indeed, there was a lot to do before the semester ended: final grades, cadet inquiries, organizing lecture materials, returning equipment, course evaluations, surveys, final reports, tidying lecture halls, scheduling follow-ups... the list went on.

Despite my slight unease at the idea of leaving Ran and Adele alone together, I nodded.

“I shall go help out, then,” Ran said as she stood.

“Right. And make sure to keep that headband on.”

Ran followed Adele out.

“Oh my, that’s a headband?” Adele asked.

“Geez, and here I was wondering why you had a sword stabbed in your head. It’s cute~ Do you have one for me too?”

“There’s a reindeer headband. Do you want it?”

And so, my two teaching assistants left—each wearing a strange headband.

The office door was about to close behind them when someone caught it before it fully shut.

It was a cadet wearing a saintess outfit.

She gave the departing assistants a sharp look, then stepped inside.

“Hello, Professor.”

Clack, clack.

Her footsteps echoed across the room.

Putin—no, wait… Trump—no, not him either.

Princess Rebecca was finally here.

⋮

Tomorrow, Gray was going to head to the studio of The Assassin Times at their imperial headquarters.

It would be the beginning of 「Betting Table」.

But according to the special [Time Forgery] the Spying Star showed me, Gray would end up badly injured after an assassination attempt. The shoot would also be canceled. Even the chief professor who was with her wouldn’t be able to stop it.

Thus, I was left with two options:

Either I stopped her from going to the Empire, or I made sure she came home safely.

And I chose the latter.

Sure, a greenhouse was warm and safe for its plants. But no one ever grew strong like a dandelion blooming through concrete cracks by staying cozy inside a greenhouse.

We would continuously face dangers and external pressure in the future. And if we ran away from our problems every time, neither I nor the cadets would grow—nor would we ever rebuild Hiaka.

We would never survive until the end, because the Demon King War was still approaching.

We had to grow stronger, no matter the dangers. That was why I had called the princess to the office.

“You want me to accompany Gray to the shoot?” Rebecca asked.

“That’s right. No organization in their right mind would attempt an assassination or terror attack if a nation’s royalty is present.”

To harm a royal was to make an enemy of an entire nation.

It would be an act of war.

The Black Dragon Dormitory had remained unscathed after the assassination war of 「Treason and Collapse」, even though the rest of the academy had been attacked and bombarded.

And that was simply because the princess lived in that dorm.

Even the madmen of Kreutz had told themselves, Ah… let’s maybe not attack her.

“Why should I?” Rebecca asked.

The princess had no reason to grant my request.

As always, she looked worn down—exhausted with life.

“Is that how you’re going to act with me? I thought we were comrades riding the same boat now,” I remarked.

“I’m not being stubborn with you on purpose. I’m asking a genuine question. I don’t get along well with those at the royal palace. And if I decide to go to the Empire, I’ll have to ask for permission and bow my head to some people. So why should I do that?”

“Because Gray could get hurt.”

“Then I’ll assign some guards to her.”

“No. You must go with her.”

Rebecca fell silent.

I remembered Gray’s injuries from the forged time the Spying Star had shown me.

She was lying in a hospital bed, severely burned all across her body.

They hadn’t caught the culprit, but it was clearly Kreutz’s doing.

Why? Because after the incident, a cadet from Kreutz became the monthly cover model—as Gray’s stand-in.

“We have to shut down the assassination attempt entirely.”

“By using me?” Rebecca replied.

“So basically, Professor, you’re trying to use a nation’s princess as a walking safety totem?”

“That’s exactly right.”

Rebecca scoffed, as if she’d just heard something absurd.

“But I have plans already,” she said.

“What kind?”

“The Church of the Holy Mother built a large temple in Zone 9, near the Cain Tree… and today is the first service.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow, so that shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Professor.”

Rebecca, who had looked uncomfortable the entire time, finally met my gaze squarely.

“Your request… doesn’t it go against the terms of our contract?”

“Our deal was about sabotaging the agreement between Hiaka and the Empire. But this is a separate matter.”

“No, it’s not. If Gray goes to the Empire and does a photoshoot—and if the assassins from Hiaka start getting friendly with outsiders—it’ll have a positive influence on the talks between the academies and their exchange deals.”

“I’m not so sure about that. The logic doesn’t follow.”

Rebecca remained quiet.

“You were a weekly cover model for The Assassin Times before, weren’t you?”

“Weekly and monthly magazines have different levels of influence. And besides, I don’t represent the academy or the Assassin Department. I represent the Kingdom of Hiaka.”

“That’s basically the same thing.”

Another pause.

Who was in the right here?

It was clearly Rebecca. I was just being stubborn at this point to get things to go my way.

“My instincts tell me that this is a bad move,” Rebecca remarked.

“Are your instincts always right?”

“Very much so.”

I doubt that.

She couldn’t even recognize the traitor sitting right in front of her.

“Well, my instincts are a little sharper than yours,” I said obstinately.

Rebecca sighed, brushed back her bangs, and crossed her arms.

“…Were you always like this?”

With her arms and legs both crossed, she was now twice as locked and stubborn as usual.

“I don’t want to.”

“Do it.”

“I said I don’t want to.”

The conversation was going nowhere.

But I knew Rebecca hated it when I got too close to her. So I decided to use that against her.

I got up from my seat, walked over, and sat right next to her, right beside the cross-legged Rebecca.

“All right?”

Gloomy stood up from the seat beside Battalion.

“That’s it. I’m leaving!”

“Gloomy. Chief Gloomy! Calm down first. We’re on the same side, aren’t we?”

“A useless ally is far worse than an enemy. If this is how things are going to be, I can’t be on your side.”

“Gloomy! Chief Gloo—”

SLAM!

The door slammed shut behind her.

“Fuck…! Damn it aaaaall!!”

Battalion swept everything off his desk.

Books scattered. A picture frame cracked against the floor. A crystal ball shattered into tiny fragments.

“Damn it! Damn it all!!!!” he kept screaming.

It wasn’t just because of his fractured relationship with Gloomy—the state of the entire continent was getting on his nerves.

Only in civilized societies are the weak assumed to be good, because on a grander, continental scale, weakness is undeniably evil.

Hiaka was getting mocked and scorned by every other country after losing its rankers to Kreutz and getting crushed in the assassination war.

And that was how things should have stayed.

And yet, after that disgusting tree bloomed, the public impression across the continent began shifting rapidly, especially noticeable online.

——

< Duke R'lyeh says, “Seeing Cain’s Tree was my best choice this winter.” >

< Beckon Travel Agency launches group tour with 24,000 participants. Tour name: [Cthulhu’s Holy Day] >

< King Hiaka III announces unprecedented tourist expansion plan… >

< WizardPatch’s top tourist destination that can only be visited this winter. Find out now. >

< Hattengraj Empire’s Chief Professor of Illusion-Assassination Studies, Agion the 「Radiant Constellation⁺₊⋆」, says: “If you can, visit the tree before it fades. It is a once-in-a-lifetime spectacle.” >

High officials, rankers, and nobles from every kingdom were scrambling to see the giant Christmas tree.

These days, daily tourists to Hiaka average over 40,000. On some days, the number even surpasses 70,000—the highest in the history of the Kingdom of Hiaka!

Moreover, Battalion’s misfortunes didn’t stop there.

“A… A continental peace summit…?”

The government of Hiaka had decided to go all out, taking full advantage of the opportunity granted to them by the absurdly massive tree.

Naturally, the King of Kreutz would be expected to attend the summit.

And if, at that summit, the King of Kreutz were to be insulted by the King of Hiaka…

It’ll be the end of me…!

Chief Professor Battalion clenched his jaw.

Damn it…

A chill ran down his spine.

And in the midst of that, another unbelievable report reached his ears.

“A second stigma was bestowed on someone at Hiaka Academy? Again?!”

His heart dropped.

Things were going very, very wrong.

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