WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Surviving the Assassin Academy as a Professor

Translator: Touch

Editor: Grass

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Chapter 55: Hooman Didn’t Come

There once was a certain 「spirit」.

│ㅅㅇ)

It was an incarnation of the 「 Spying Star│ㅅㅇ) 」— a being that wandered the world, quietly enjoying watching others without being noticed.

It had no real meaning or purpose.

It simply lurked, half-hidden behind places, looking for something interesting to watch. And if something did catch its attention, it would sometimes give it a little nudge… just to make things more fun.

A hidden spectator of the world.

This spirit, which roamed far and wide, arrived at Mount Stargaze about a year ago.

Mount Stargaze was special. A place like no other in the world.

Why?

Because it was interesting.

It had a very interesting person.

And, it was the site of something very big—something that hadn’t happened yet, but would. A place destined to be fun to watch. The perfect location for people-watching.

Above all...

│ㅅㅇ)　　　　　(ㅇㅅ│

Another spirit was here, too!

How long had that one been here?

It didn’t know, and wasn't all that curious either...

But when two spirits of the 「 Spying Star│ㅅㅇ) 」 met, there was a ritual they were obliged to perform.

│ㅅㅇ)/　　　　　(ㅇㅅ│

The hand greeting!!

│ㅅㅇ)　　　　　＼(ㅇㅅ│

And the return hand greeting!!

│ㅅㅎ)

It was satisfying.

⋮

Anyway, that other spirit had also been watching the same entity.

Hidden deep in the forested mountains was a treasure of the world.

The entity known as Eve.

She had light sky-blue hair and blue eyes.

She wore a dirty, grass-covered cloth—like a hood and dress—with only her eyes visible beneath the fabric.

An entity that knew only how to wander and scurry across the mountain.

The spirit had been watching her for a long time.

Eve’s daily life was dry and monotonous.

She would wake up, rub her eyes, sit up blankly, and yawn.

She would stretch lightly, wander nearby, and eat things like apples, flower nectar, dandelions, or wild berries, all with that same blank expression.

Sometimes, she even nibbled on dirt or stones.

She would visit a nearby pond, wash her face, sometimes rinse her hands and feet, or occasionally bathe, fully clothed.

Then she would return to her cave, train with a sword, or nap.

At night, she’d climb a burial mound and stare silently at the sky.

Her face was always the same: blank, unreadable.

And yet…

Why was she so interesting?

The spirit didn’t know.

No matter how long it thought, it just couldn’t figure it out.

│ωㅇ)

It was just… fun.

Through telepathy, the spirit had once heard from another faraway spirit that in a different location, where lots of humans lived, there was someone very similar to Eve, but bigger.

It didn’t quite understand what that meant.

Anyway, it had spent a whole year watching this curious entity—no, this curious person.

In that time, over ten humans had come to kill Eve, and she had survived them all.

Now, no one comes anymore.

So stargazing became her daily routine, with nothing else of note happening.

Until one day, a new person appeared in Eve’s life.

It was a man with pink eyes and wavy black hair.

At first, the spirit didn’t think much of him.

The man’s neat appearance and features were mildly interesting, but nothing more.

The fact that he came alone, to a place where no one else dared to go, was peculiar—just enough to make the spirit curious, but not enough for it to change its main target of observation.

At the end of the day, he was just a random stranger. And it seemed Eve thought so too.

She rejected him. Pushed him away.

So the man left.

It was a dull interaction. To put it simply, it was boring.

│ㅅ-) …

And that was fine.

The spirit had no expectations to begin with.

And with no expectation, there could be no disappointment.

But then... something felt strange about that man. 

│ㅅㅇ)?

The next day, he came back to find Eve.

And the day after that.

And the day after.

And again, the day after, and the day after that...

He kept coming. Every single day. Without missing a single visit. 

│ㅅㅇ) …

This was very interesting.

With each day he appeared, the distance between him and Eve shrank.

It was like someone had measured the gap between them with a ruler and reduced it by a few centimeters each time.

Eve started to acknowledge the man.

Slowly, the space between them diminished.

Throughout it all, the man never made Eve uncomfortable.

He never rushed anything.

Thanks to that quiet patience, he was gradually getting closer.

This was quite entertaining.

No matter how good a meal was, eating the same food every day grew boring.

After watching the same scenes for a year, this small change in Eve’s routine was surprisingly fun.

Was it the only one who thought so?

The spirit glanced at the other spirit beside it…

│ㅅㅇ)　　　　　♥(ㅇㅂ│

Nope! That one was even more excited!

Anyway.

From that point on, the man grew closer and closer to Eve.

They exchanged items—things like a scope, or a bell.

And finally, the man sat right next to her.

It was incredible to watch. 

The perfect material to spy on.

No one could predict what might happen next or how events would unfold.

But what mattered most was that Eve’s once-monotonous daily life had changed dramatically.

Eve started washing herself more often.

She started saving delicious items like apples and walnuts to give to the man.

She started waiting for him before sitting on the burial mound to stargaze.

Later on, since he always arrived around 8 p.m., Eve would start glancing down the mountain path an hour early, fidgeting and grooming herself as she waited. 
(Not that it made much of a difference to her appearance.)

One time, she held onto a walnut she’d forgotten to give him, unsure what to do with it, and it was adorable to witness.

The next time, she brought two walnuts to make up for it, but ended up not giving either. Once he left, she clutched both in her hands again, pondering what to do with them. It was even more adorable.

Then one day, Eve was training alone in her cave when she began carving the man’s portrait on the wall with her sword.

It was extremely interesting.

(In truth, the drawing was terrible. The two spirits were puzzled over what it was supposed to be and spent a long time discussing it before finally realizing it was meant to be the human man. Still, it was interesting.)

These never-before-seen events brought great joy to the spirit. After all, the previous repetitive days had been somewhat boring.

But as time went on, something strange happened.

The man stopped coming.

One day passed.

Then three.

He didn’t come for a whole week.

│ㅅㅇ) …?

What was going on?

Why wasn’t the man coming?

│ㅅㅇ) …???

The spirit was curious about it. But it didn’t go out of its way to look for the man.

Looking into what the man was doing might have been entertaining, but surprisingly, Eve’s reaction to his absence turned out to be even more interesting.

She was starting to break down.

│ㅂㅇ)

She lost all sense of routine when it came to waking up. Sometimes she would bolt upright in the middle of the night, not knowing what to do. One time, she even fell fast asleep in broad daylight.

Even her walks around Mount Stargaze grew strange. She wandered farther than ever before, venturing into places she had never gone.

Her habit of preparing and enjoying delicious foods faded away. Eve hardly ate anymore—not even the apples she cherished, nor the flower nectar or dandelions.

She stopped taking baths. She skipped training. Often, she stared blankly at the portrait she had carved into the cave wall—sometimes reaching out to gently touch it.

Wasn’t it fascinating?

In the spirit’s opinion, consistency might be boring, but it created anticipation, because once that consistency was broken, things got very entertaining.

And that’s exactly what was happening here.

Even so, Eve still went up to the burial mound every night to stargaze… 

But then, about three weeks after the man had disappeared, something big happened.

│ㅁㅇ) !　　　　　! (ㅇㅁ│

Eve began to descend the mountain.

This was a huge event!

She had broken one of the three rules she had strictly followed until now.

Eve went down Mount Stargaze.

She got fairly lost along the way, stumbling through unfamiliar paths, but she tried to follow the direction the man had once come from.

Unfortunately, she ended up veering slightly off course.

“Ah! H-How did the monster get this far?!”

An old man from a nearby mountain cabin spotted her.

“The Witch of the Cemetery! If you could leave the mountain, why didn’t you do so earlier?!”

Eve remained silent.

“I don’t know what you’re planning, but I see you’ve finally decided to show your true colors! Today, I will drive you out of this mountain for good!”

Suddenly, the old man pulled out a gun and started firing.

Bang! Bang bang!!

Eve skillfully avoided the bullets, her body zipping from side to side. Her movements gradually brought her closer to him.

“Eek! Are you going to kill me?!” the old man shrieked, stumbling backward and falling onto his butt.

“Wait, that’s right! You can’t kill me!”

Eve didn’t answer.

“I’m right, aren’t I? I know you can’t bring yourself to kill me!”

Then, the old man pointed the barrel of his gun under his chin.

Eve flinched and immediately turned to run away.

“…I knew it! She can’t stand death! The witch is fleeing!” he cried triumphantly.

He rushed back into his cabin, grabbed an old crystal watch, and made a call to someone.

Meanwhile, Eve reached the road at the bottom of the mountain.

The spirit was thrilled.

In the spirit’s eyes, roads were monuments to humankind’s arrogance.

Humans, confident that no other race could pose a threat to them, laid down structures that led straight into their homes.

Even someone like Eve, who knew nothing of the world, could easily take advantage of them.

She ran along the road, heading toward where the humans lived. After a time, a city emerged in the distance.

Still... even if she reached the city, what could she possibly hope to find?

From the spirit’s perspective, the city was vast, teeming with an overwhelming number of humans.

Trying to find one man among them was nearly impossible.

The other spirit seemed to agree.

But then, unexpectedly, the other spirit began drawing on its power and authority, as if to help her, using its stigma.

Soon enough, Eve entered the city.

As expected, the moment she arrived and stepped into the crowded streets, she had to stop. She glanced around, avoiding eye contact, lost and unsure of what to do.

“W-What is that? A human?”

“Don’t go near it! I’ve got a bad feeling…”

“Isn’t that the Witch of the Cemetery?!”

“What?!”

“The Enforcers! Where are the Disciplinary Enforcers?!”

With her hood pulled down low, she looked hideous—an outsider who stood out completely among the crowd.

Amid all that chaos, a symbol appeared on the ground—an image only Eve could see:

「 ↖ (ㅇㅅ│ 」

Eve seemed to recognize its meaning and began running in the direction it pointed...

But it was already too late.

“The monster believed to be the Witch of the Cemetery has escaped! She is currently roaming the city center.”

“If containment fails, you are granted authorization to neutralize her. Make sure to inform the chief professors and the dean.”

Assassins began rushing toward Eve.

Crackle!

Sparks of mana burst from their bodies as they charged, attempting to kill her.

As always, Eve dodged or deflected their attacks and ran with everything she had.

She kicked off walls and trees, soared across rooftops, sprinting toward the symbol’s direction.

But with over twenty assassins on her tail, evading all their attacks became impossible.

A bullet grazed her arm. A crossbow bolt nicked the top of her foot.

« Shit! Just kill her! »

The upper command of Zone 0, already tense from the recent assassination war, ordered her to be shot on sight, as if she were a mortal enemy sent by Kreutz.

Eventually, Eve’s foot got caught in a massive trap.

CLANG!!

In an instant, Eve drew her sword and slashed it down.

The intricate machinery, designed to withstand long battles against giant beasts, was shattered by a single strike—a jaw-dropping display of her tremendous strength.

The spirit was fascinated.

But Eve’s reckless journey was coming to an end.

“That’s enough, Witch of the Cemetery.”

A man with white hair, a white mustache, and a thick, sagging chin stepped forward toward her.

The guardian angel of Zone 0 had arrived to prevent a major disaster.

It was Shaman Kreutz, Dean of the Assassin Department.

“I let you live, thinking you would spend your days quietly on the mountain,” he said. “So why did you come crawling out to cause chaos now?”

Eve avoided meeting his eyes and pulled her ragged hood even lower.

“You must’ve heard what happened here recently. Many people died, including one of my own disciples. But I’m not the type to take out my anger elsewhere. So please… leave us in peace, and let me calm this rage on my own.”

She said nothing.

“Go back,” Kreutz warned, his tone quiet but firm. “Otherwise, I will have no choice but to unleash my strength to kill you right here.”

Eve tilted her head.

She couldn’t understand his words.

Regardless, the spirit was excited.

Who would win if they fought for real?

But contrary to expectations, Eve leapt high, seemingly choosing to take a wide detour.

It wasn’t the wisest decision. Even she couldn’t outrun all the assassins by speed alone.

Their attacks continued flying in, and Eve’s body began accumulating injuries.

After thirty minutes of relentless pursuit, the dean hurled a throwing knife like a cannonball.

It tore open her cheek, splitting the skin deep.

Blood sprayed into the air.

With no other option, Eve turned back and fled the city, heading back to the mountain.

In the end, Eve failed to achieve her goal. She had been driven away from the world of humans.

“Huh? Wait, why were we here again?”

“Um… Wasn’t there some emergency practice drill or something…?”

Soon afterward, no one remembered what had happened that day in the city.

But then, something interesting happened on Eve’s way back.

As she bled and walked toward the mountain…

Thud!

The girl collapsed, crashing to the ground.

Her hood slipped off her head, revealing two curled horns—like a sheep’s. 

│ㅁㅇ) ?!

She had horns on her head?

This was the first time the spirit learned of this, despite having watched her for more than a year.

But its ignorance made sense. Eve had never once taken off her hood during all that time.

* * *

“Oh, right! Professor,” Adele addressed Dante.

“I’m listening.”

“Come to think of it… Don’t you need to go to Mount Stargaze? We haven’t been there recently.”

He stared blankly at Adele before finally responding, 

"Why would we go there?”

Hooman Didn’t Come – END

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