Chapter 290 : Chapter 290

Chapter 290: The Growth of Two Lifetimes and the Growth of a Moment

“From myself, I seek the answer…”

Leaving this psychological counseling room, I subconsciously looked back at this place.

The feeling was different from when I first came in, but there were no cats in sight, as if they had never existed.

Perhaps those kittens were just illusions, but the touch of stroking them felt so real.

Putting other things aside, if I had just met the witch Dana here, I would think she was a very outstanding, gentle, and understanding psychologist.

But I was tricked here by her, which reminded me of Teacher Ji Niang.

When I first met Teacher Ji Niang, she also brought me a lot of pressure, afraid of her ulterior motives, afraid of her covetousness, or afraid of the unknown.

But after getting to know Teacher Ji Niang, I found that even a self-proclaimed transcendent-level witch seemed… to be like an ordinary person, with her own emotions, her own thoughts, and her own pursuits.

Is this witch Dana also the same?

Her eyes seemed to be able to see through many things about me, as if they were more terrifying than the Spirit Vision I possessed.

Even if my Spirit Vision could see through the true world, the witch Dana’s eyes seemed to be able to see through people’s hearts.

No one likes to have their secrets exposed in the eyes of others.

So… as a psychologist, Dana doesn’t seem to be that qualified.

At least she made me feel a sense of distance from her, and there was also an information gap.

She seemed to know a lot about me, but I didn’t know her.

She was like a black cat, quietly sitting there with a touch of mystery.

I only know that she loves cats very much, is the boss behind the Witch Cat Cafe, a psychological counselor who doesn’t often open for business, and then what?

She is like an ordinary person, or… a cat, observing people’s emotions.

She treats emotions as a condiment, savors them, and enjoys it.

But I treat emotions as a tide, reverently keeping my distance, watching the tide rise and fall.

Actually, I’ve already made it very obvious, right?

I get nervous in the face of others’ enthusiasm, and in the face of others’ anger, I watch coldly, and even face them with a smile.

I am not an expresser, but an observer, a fool who can’t turn her thoughts into words and shout them out, a coward who only turns grievances into blades and stabs herself with them.

The witch Dana was right.

I couldn’t say goodbye to the past.

I came to a new environment, which seemed to be a new beginning, but it was like giving a poor person trillions of wealth, he wouldn’t spend it.

I came to the Witch Academy, but I lived in such a state.

Thinking back, what did I expect to become?

A cute girl who could act coquettishly… who could confide in others freely and without worries… who would have many friends…

But now I am still living the same way as before.

I don’t act coquettishly, I don’t dare to confide in others freely, and I haven’t lived to be a girl without worries.

I still have no friends!

Perhaps in my previous life, I could say: sorry, the first time I lived as a human, I lived like a dog.

But I have already lived as a human for the second time, and it’s still like this, so this is my problem.

So Dana gave such an answer… to find the answer from myself.

Did my two tragic lives give me any inspiration?

I have read countless chicken soups for the soul and understood that most children with psychological problems have problems with the shaping of their family and environment.

I seem to be the same.

But I also understand what a strong person is.

The will of a strong person will not become decadent because of changes in the environment or hardship, so I understand that the misfortune of my family is not the reason why I have not become a strong person.

I will subconsciously bring myself into the identity of a strong person.

Maybe I was not a strong person from the beginning?

Or rather, no one is a strong person at the beginning, right?

It is said that the environment shapes the hero.

A person’s life is like a parabola, with a starting point, a highest point, and an end point.

People don’t have the option to go back.

When they can go back, it’s probably when they have entered old age and can’t turn back the tide.

Perhaps this is a fact that only transcendent witches with a long lifespan can see through.

They can experience the lives of ordinary people countless times, constantly reflecting and summarizing, and in this way, they can see through many things, as long as they live long enough.

My mind is full of such echoing chicken soups for the soul, and only now do I feel their poison.

They will impose their views on me and make me willing to believe them.

But they will not explain the facts to me, nor will they guide me to think about why it is like this.

So… thinking is really important.

Thinking is not simply to deny those views, but to think about why these views were put forward, so as to summarize the answer you want.

I want to know what kind of person is a strong person, is it someone who will not change after experiencing the hardships of the environment, or a strong person shaped by the environment?

What will be the result of the collision of these two people’s views?

A strong person is ultimately a strong person, and hardships will only make the strong person stronger?

No, hardships are just hardships.

Strength is the strength of the heart.

Hardships only show a person with a strong heart to others.

This is meaningless to the strong person.

So the strong person does not like it, nor will he expect others’ evaluation and comments.

So those who pursue others’ thoughts and hope that others will admit that they are strong are completely putting the cart before the horse.

On the contrary, this is due to extreme lack of self-confidence.

Even if these two people have exactly the same strength, the strong person will only be the former, not the latter.

Sometimes, to understand is to understand, but to do it is another matter.

To think… and… to do, the unity of knowledge and action.

This seems to be a very simple truth.

For some reason, I thought of what the Academy Head said to me, that the spell of Unity of Knowledge and Action is not as simple as it appears on the surface.

How is it not simple?

I don’t know, but I will try.

I always thought that what the Academy Head meant by “not simple” referred to the derivative effects of the Unity of Knowledge and Action spellbook, but now it seems that it is not.

My use of the spell of Unity of Knowledge and Action is mostly for mental concentration, and so on, for speech-spirit suggestions.

But I have never suggested “unity of knowledge and action” to myself, just like the name of this spell.

This feeling is like an inspiration.

When I think of this spell, I know I am thinking about the right thing.

The moment the spellbook’s spell effect took effect, I felt that my own consciousness was superior to my own emotions, and even my own thoughts.

It was as if at this moment, my emotions and my thoughts could no longer control my consciousness.

Those complicated emotions and the poisonous chicken soup that imposed concepts on me were clearly distinguished at this moment.

At this moment, I understood that I seemed to have used the Unity of Knowledge and Action spellbook wrongly.

It was not a tool to help me improve my efficiency, but a tool to cooperate with meditation for self-reflection and self-examination.

Although some spellbooks do not specify a usage threshold, those who are not qualified will ultimately be unable to exert their true power.

This is like a mirror.

The other side of the mirror is a dissected version of myself presented to me.

The rest is for me to decide how I should change.

So this spellbook is called the Unity of Knowledge and Action?

I cannot decide my birth, my family, my environment, or even my world, but I can choose what kind of person I want to be.

It’s even irrelevant to the external environment.

Previously, I was even afraid because I didn’t understand the external environment, and I was thinking about whether to master a stronger power.

After learning about the disorder of the Void, I made up my mind to add a certain weight to obtaining power.

But now it’s different.

The Void is also an environment.

Maybe it will be my stage in the future.

Even if it’s a very bad environment, will it interfere with my exploration of the transcendent realm?

It doesn’t interfere.

This reminds me of the madmen of the life interpretation blasphemy revolution.

No matter how the external environment changes, it will not interfere with what he wants to do, even if it means being an enemy of the entire Void.

That is the proof of an extremely strong heart.

Even when he has not yet grown up, he is still the same.

He will not be afraid because of different levels.

This seems to be the way I expect to be?

Perhaps, but I still want to live out my own style.

In my previous life, when I was young, I wanted to be a scientist.

Maybe it was just following the crowd like others, but many seeds were planted in this way.

In the end, life crushed me, but it gave me a second chance.

This time, I touched the transcendent, and that seed seemed to have sprouted in the decay.

I still want to be a “scientist,” a scientist who studies the transcendent.

And the first step is… to become a person who masters transcendent power and obtains the qualification to study transcendent power.

This is my original intention, putting aside everything else, putting aside all thoughts, what Witch Academy, what classes?

What exchange of benefits, what script?

Many things don't seem to be important anymore.

Just like my self-study efficiency is far greater than in the classroom, because Teacher Ji Niang discovered my value and didn’t let me waste extra time in the classroom.

So even though I am in the Witch Academy, I have course exemptions.

And now, my value is far beyond expectations, and I have even attracted the attention of the Academy Head.

Even though I am in this world and caught in the script, I will eventually sever the so-called Earth Vein Chains and escape the control of the script, and even the control of the world.

It has nothing to do with power, it’s just a matter-of-fact feeling that it should be like this.

But this requires a deeper understanding.

If it has nothing to do with power, if you don’t have value, and you think you should escape the script, then no one will care about you.

This is a judgment that can only be made after the goal is clear and the self-worth is clearly recognized.

If I didn’t have the value of Spirit Vision, but I had this state of mind, this perception, and this composure, I would feel that I deserved to be used as cannon fodder, but I would seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, enhance my own value, and find ways and means to escape control, instead of doing nothing and complaining.

This is the real, a strong person will not complain about the environment.

At this moment, leaving here, I feel that even my control over my body has improved a lot.

If I had fought to the death in the dream state before, I probably wouldn’t have fought like a madman, hysterically.

I would have used the most ideal way to find the optimal solution, and even… fought with ease until the end.

When I started to criticize my past self, I understood that I seemed to have grown, but all of this seemed to have happened on the same day.

Can someone really grow in one day?

They can, as long as they figure it out, no… they should figure out what they want to do.

I can’t always maintain this rational thinking state, but this state has given birth to valuable experience to guide my life.

Taking off the disguise, letting go of the internal consumption, facing everyone with a calm mind, these are all forms of my outward expression.

The purpose is to make up for my lack of heart.

My heart is not strong enough.

To be strong, I need constant external stimulation to make up for its past deficiencies.

It’s similar to retaliatory compensation, but it’s different. I’m not compensating, but making up for it.

It’s like I’m facing a broken mirror.

I pick up all the fragments, but I’m not putting them back together, but taking them back to be remade.

People who complain that a broken mirror cannot be mended will only complain.

A strong person will not complain, but will silently pick it up and have it remade.

Don’t be afraid of the trouble, don’t be afraid of the tediousness of the process, and don’t be afraid of others’ gazes and criticisms.

A strong person only knows that he wants this mirror to return to its original state.

A weak person will say just buy another one.

Some will laugh at what a fool, remaking such a trivial broken thing.

Some will even take a picture and post it for others to laugh at.

Perhaps this is why strong people are lonely.

Just like now, after all this tossing and turning, I am ready to go back and have a good rest, instead of grabbing the last bit of time of the day and forcing myself to study.

The rest of the matters can be discussed tomorrow after I have enough energy.

Once the goals are confirmed, short-term goals, long-term goals, many things seem to be smooth.

Back at the villa.

“Big Sis Xiao Han, you’re back so early?”

“Mm, you don’t have classes today?”

I nodded and asked Dongli Yiren.

“No.”

“Then you study slowly, I’m going to bed first.”

“Eh? Big Sis Xiao Han, you’re going to bed so early?”

“Mhmm I’m just a little tired. A lot has happened to me today. My intuition tells me that a good night’s sleep can help me settle things better. You too, I heard from Yu Yetian that you’ve been working very hard recently, but don’t tire yourself out. When it’s time to relax, you should really give yourself a break.”

“A break? I’d better not. If I get lazy, I might not be able to get back on track.”

“If you don’t even have the courage to give yourself a break, then do you think you are qualified to prove that you can persevere? Don’t pretend to be studying hard Pop quiz! What did you learn today! Close your notes, what did you record on the previous page!”

“Eh? I… that…”

Faced with my sudden action, Dongli Yiren subconsciously closed her notebook, but she stuttered and couldn’t say anything.

“See, don’t lie to yourself. It’s more useful for you to take a popular science book into the plantation and have a look than to sit here and copy notes dryly. Learning is not just one way. It’s not learning to sit there and look at books and take notes. I’ll give you a task, no reward, no punishment, and no forced execution. Find the Witch Academy plantation tomorrow, and then take your notes and go for a walk. Isn’t that more interesting than copying notes until your hands are sore?”

“I…”

Dongli Yiren seemed to have not yet accepted my transformation.

She hadn’t even uttered a word, but when she had organized her words and wanted to say them, she found that I had already gone upstairs, and my figure was gone.

“I… I know.”

Dongli Yiren said in a low voice, as if to herself.

And she also put down the pen in her hand, looked at these notes, stretched, and patted her cheeks.

She always felt that the Big Sis Xiao Han who came back today seemed to have changed.

The previous change might not have been obvious, but today it was particularly obvious.

What exactly did she go through?