WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

[ Translation - Aren ]

I'm a Reporter, Please let me get off the Stage

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Chapter 62

“I seriously can’t believe this is real.”

“What can you do? Just think of it as a dream then.”

“Can’t you wake me up or something?”

“I've been trying to wake you up. You’re the one refusing to open your eyes.”

“Yeah…… you’re right, Minjeong.”

Jo Hayeon collapsed onto the couch with a blank expression on her face.

“If it looks like you’re not breathing anymore, I’ll be sure to call 911 immediately, so don’t worry too much.”

“Yeah, thanks. This is exactly what friends are for.”

Minjeong sounded dead serious when she said that she would call emergency services, so Hayeon couldn’t even get mad. She could only sigh.

Today was the second broadcast of <Ultimate Idol>.

Hayeon hadn’t even managed to eat properly since morning.

She naturally hadn’t gotten any proper sleep the night before as well.

Yuyoung seemed like a child by a body of water to her, no, like a puppy standing at the gates of hell.

How did he end up on such a monstrosity of a program, getting dragged through the mud?

It felt like she was the one being chewed out instead, her chest burned and her mouth was dry.

“Well, considering this show is nothing but failed idols…… the response isn’t actually that bad.”

Minjeong carefully offered some words of comfort.

No, was that even supposed to be comforting?

Even Minjeong wasn’t so sure.

Still, weren’t mean comments better than no comments?

If anyone would agree with that, it would be Jo Hayeon, the girl who publicly declared her love for a ‘failed idol’ in front of fifty or so reporters not too long ago.

“Yeah, Minjeong. You're right. Yuyoung is an adult.”

“Exactly. He’s a grown man who should take responsibility for his own choices.”

“If he really, truly didn’t want to be on this show, he wouldn’t have come.”

“That’s right…… But Hayeon.”

“Huh?”

“You know…… Adults. sometimes, no, almost everyday, do things they desperately don’t want to do while pretending to be fine……”

“……”

“Minjeong.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t throw rocks at my heart.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Kim Minjeong had to admit it.

Right now, Jo Hayeon probably saw Ahn Yuyoung as nothing but a poor puppy standing in front of the gates of hell, his whiskers singed by the flames.

And instead of offering words of encouragement, Minjeong was basically saying things like ‘Damn, that’s rough, I’d wanna die too.’ Yeah, that wasn’t something a friend should say.

However, Hayeon usually got an extreme dopamine high whenever she thought about Ahn Yuyoung, so she probably wouldn’t care about a tiny silp-up like that. That was a relief.

“But <Totter> is insanely good. Didn’t Ahn Yuyoung write the lyrics?”

Kim Minjeong tried to change the subject.

“Haah…… Hey, I really didn’t want to say this, but…… Can I?”

“Come on. What could you possibly be embarrassed about at this point?”

“I think Yuyoung could debut as a poet.”

“……That could happen I guess.”

“Can you at least react properly?”

“Hmm, if he’s going to debut as one, I’d prefer he does it through a publishing house rather than a newspaper. That’s what’s the new trend after all.”

Kim Minjeong broke into a cold sweat.

Did she push the dopamine button too hard?

Well, the lyrics were definitely poetic.

But if even she felt this way, then Jo Hayeon must be drowning in euphoria right now.

As long as her friend was happy, that was fine and all, but Minjeong was starting to get a little scared.

“If he has always been this good at writing lyrics, why hasn’t he contributed to a single song until now?”

“Right? It’s a shame. But now that he’s getting a good response, he’ll probably keep writing.”

“I suddenly feel so happy. Minjeong, should we order chicken?”

“No. Just get coffee. You’ll 100% get indigestion.”

Still, at least some of the stress had left Hayeon’s face, which came as a huge relief to Minjeong.

Hayeon’s first impression of the show had been ‘pure horror’.

The whole broadcast was trashy to its core.

And those idol brats were even worse.

Especially those IONER members. Why were they always grinning like idiots?

As for VOV, they barely got any screen time, but they were so obviously trying to play it safe that it pissed her off.

Everyone wanted to avoid getting hate, okay?!

Meanwhile, Loop7 had too many middle-aged fans, which somehow made her irrationally annoyed due to the trickle-down effect.

Chenstin were just too successful which made them annoying in her eyes.

Meanwhile, Yuyoung had to go through that emotional ‘Audition Reenactment’ mission and even cried.

A truly breathtaking sight.

Like a single flower petal drifting in the late autumn breeze.

Or a young tree, standing strong through the harsh winter.

Hearing this, Kim Minjeong just advised her that she should channel that into a poetry contest or something.

And then there was Yuyoung’s infamous interview segment..

―To be honest, I think it’s the ‘sales’?

―Haha……

Just those three seconds.

Because of those three seconds, Yuyoung was absolutely roasted.

This situation made her seriously shed tears of blood.

It was so obviously an evil edit, but people still fell for it and started trashing him.

Jo Hayeon didn’t even bother arguing with those brain-dead haters who bought into that garbage. It was just a waste of time.

Instead, she just silently prayed that their biases would eventually ruin their careers with scandals like drunk driving, dating scandals, plagiarism, drugs, or assault.

But there was another reason why Hayeon ignored those hate comments.

It was because of <Totter>.

This effortlessly refined yet easy-to-listen-to masterpiece of a song wasn’t just the best thing to ever come out of WEEKANIZ, it could even stand toe-to-toe with any top-tier idol track.

When she first saw the performance, Jo Hayeon only realized after the stage ended that she had barely even been breathing for the entire three minutes.

The blend of piano melodies, synth, and heavy bass worked perfectly together, and it really had a powerful yet melancholic feel just as Yuyoung had said.

Reactions on Pings and DukDukForest were overwhelmingly positive.

There was praise for both the song and the members pouring in like ‘They said it was a “premiere” so I got a bit curious, and damn, it’s actually good.’, ‘Did Tae Oh do ballet before or something?’, and ‘Who’s the main vocalist in this group?’

<Titel: If Totter made you interested in WEEKANIZ, read this

Content: I’ve listed all their past title tracks and the best B-sides based on my opinion. They don’t have much variety show content, but they’ve done some radio shows, links to clips included. If you want their profile, click this link to IdolGanada. Any other questions? Drop them in the comments, Haha.>

Hayeon, being Yuyoung’s self-proclaimed ‘No.1 Sales Rep’ rowed the boat as hard as she could.

<@ Are Yuyoung and Haedun actually on bad terms?>

└ Nope, that’s just a dumb rumor. If they hate each other, how would they live together and keep working as a group……

└ You’re obviously a Yuyoung fan

└ And you sound like a Haedun fan…….

[Would you like to delete this comment?]

[Yes]

She never forgot to take out the trash in the comment section either.

Seeing WEEKANIZ on the charts for the first time ever, she even bought a cake to celebrate.

<Ultimate Idol> was without a doubt an absolute garbage show.

The fact that WEEKANIZ had to release their new song through such a trash program made it feel less prestigious.

Their company might as well be nonexistent, seeing that they didn’t do zero promotion for it.

The members were also stuck filming this stupid survival show instead of getting to perform on music broadcasts, variety shows, radio programs, or literally anything else related to their comeback……

But still, Hayeon was happy.

No, she was devastated.

No, she was happy.

With all those complicated feelings swirling inside her, Hayeon sat down, bracing herself for the second episode.

“It’s starting.”

Kim Minjeong turned up the volume slightly.

The episode began with a brief recap of the previous broadcast before shifting to the morning wake-up mission.

―Aaah! The door’s closing!

Baekgyeom’s dumb face filled the screen.

Hayeon squeezed her eyes shut.

His reckless mouth and free-spirited nature had always been a source of anxiety, and now he had managed to cause an incident here……

She made a mental note to discipline him later on her private account, with verbal beatings he would never forget.

The second mission was ‘Idols, become All-Rounders’. A position swap.

Hayeon wasn’t particularly worried.

Yuyoung’s role had always been rather ambiguous.

Lately, he had been developing his vocals, which was nice to see……

However, as a sub-dancer, he and Baekgyeom were always the first to get pushed aside.

Hayeon prided herself on being a rational fan, so she didn’t take issue with this.

After all, Yuyoung was the leader, and while he wasn’t the most amazing singer, he still got a decent number of lines.

“Aah, I have a bad feeling about this……”

Sure, Yuyoung would probably pull through just fine, but whenever position swaps happened, the ones who usually suffered the most were the main-vocalist and the main-dancer.

They were the type of people who were only really good at one thing, so they were a lot weaker in other positions.

―Alright, Chenstin’s Leeho, will now take on the position of main vocalist.

“Hahahahaha! Serves him right. Isn’t Leeho completely tone-deaf?”

“……Don’t you look a bit too happy about this, Hayeon?”

“Of course. There’s nothing better than seeing a big-shot group like Chenstin getting knocked down a peg. Leeho only knows how to dance, so they’re screwed. His voice isn’t that great either.”

Jo Hayeon laughed heartily.

However, there was just one critical mistake she had just made.

She had forgotten her own philosophy on handling haters online.

If one carelessly threw around insults at others……

―Alright, WEEKANIZ’ main-dancer will be Baekgyeom!

“We’re screwed.”

……You would get it thrown right back at you.

Jo Hayeon muttered some curses, voice sounding stunned.

“……We are screwed?”

“Urgh, yeah. W-wait, wait, is there a way to stop this broadcast?”

“Should I switch off the TV?”

“No, I mean, is there a way to shut it down. Everywhere. Nationwide?”

“……That would be illegal, Hayeon.”

Kim Minjeong glanced at Hayeon as she wondered whether this really was such a big deal? Was Baekgyeom really that bad at dancing?

Her eyes were dead, which was rather concerning.

“Baekgyeom, that idiot, is so bad, they don’t even bother hiding him in the back……”

“I see……”

― WEEKANIZ will go with a B-side track.

“Wait, they’re the only ones doing a B-side? Are their B-sides even good?”

“……Wait. This feels off somehow.”

―WEEKANIZ’ song will be…… RELOAD!

“Wow.”

Jo Hayeon finally let out a deep sigh.

This song was so absolutely ridiculous, even she, who had never even been close to ‘Military Service (Not applicable)’ once listened to it and thought stuff like ‘Is this supposed to be a real gun or are they shooting damn water guns?

Even among WEEKANIZ’ already small fandom, barely anyone actually knew this track.

And those who did fell into two categories.

People who were too embarrassed to listen to it.

And people who were too embarrassed to admit they listened to it.

Hayeon was, of course, in the second category.

‘Damn it, this is one of those songs that’s only good when you listen to it in secret……’

It was the perfect guilty pleasure song that she never removed from her playlist even though she cursed at it.

Nobody knew she secretly enjoyed <RELOAD>, but now her face burned with second hand embarrassment.

She was so nervous.

How the hell were they supposed to pull this off?

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