WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

[ Translation - Aren ]

I'm a Reporter, Please let me get off the Stage

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Chapter 61

“……What exactly are you guys doing?”

It was quite early in the morning.

Probably around 6:20 am.

Cameraman Ji Oh subconsciously checked his watch.

6:24 am exactly.

So then, the people standing before him right now, hm, were they some kind of morning exercise club?

“Working out.”

“……Right, but why are you using hula hoops?”

“Because Yuyoung-hyung told me to.”

“……”

Ji Oh decided to just keep his mouth shut.

The reason he even came to the practice room this early was to replace the camera batteries.

When he got closer he could faintly see one person.

Actually it wasn’t just one.

There were two figures doing something together before the practice room.

They were moving quite strangely, swaying and shaking like that.

They were using hula hoops.

Why all of a sudden?

“Erm…… Just, you know, to warm up and improve our back flexibility.”

Who even knew for how long they had been hula hooping? Sweat beaded at Yuyoung’s temple as he answered Ji Oh’s question.

He was quite shocked, never having realized that WEEKANIZ had such an absurd side to them.

“What about the other members?”

“They’re asleep.”

“So this isn’t a group training thing?”

“Well, since Baekgyeom is taking on the main dancer role, this is like a Baekgyeom-exclusive training regimen.!”

For some reason. Yuyoung’s expression as he spoke seemed oddly refreshed.

Ji Oh found himself absentmindedly wondering whether hula hooping was even good for back flexibility.

“Hyung! I did 100.”

“Nice. Let’s do two more sets after breakfast.”

Why were these guys acting like an elderly fitness club instead of practicing the choreography of the song they were told to do……?

At this point Ji Oh-ssi started to think that there probably weren’t any normal people among these makeup-wearing idols.

Clicking his tongue, he dedicated to just let it go.

* * *

[<The Hoop of Talent!> : Spin a hula hoop 100 times, and for the next 5 hours, the chosen state will increase by 2 levels.]

“Oh, I actually do feel a little lighter.”

“See? I told you it wasn't just nonsense. Trust me.”

Baekgyeom swung his arms back and forth as he spoke.

I let out a relieved sigh.

I had told Baekgyeom about this special training right before we all went to bed last night.

The plan was to wake up at 6 am and do 100 hula hoop rotations.

“Hula hooping……?”

When Baekgyeom heard that, his eyes practically screamed one thing.

‘You’re pranking me, aren’t you?’.

Yeah, think whatever you want.

“Hula hooping, huh…… But honestly, isn’t any kind of morning exercise good for you……?”

Tae Oh muttered.

I immediately turned my head away, pretending not to hear him.

If I refuted it I would only end up screwing myself over.

Truthfully, morning workouts were great for boosting energy levels. And unless one over-exerted themselves, there wasn’t really a best or worst exercise to do.

On top of that, I didn’t really know how to justify ‘hula hooping’ otherwise.

The best excuse I had managed to come up with was ‘Back flexibility’...... Even to me, that sounded like absolute bullshit.

“Still, I do feel like my back and waist are looser.”

Thank god Baekgyeom actually seemed to like this type of stuff.

At least he found my bullshit entertaining enough to try it first before judging. Credit where credit was due.

“Your body is no longer your own.”

“Master, can I become the ultimate dance king?”

“But of course……”

Baekgyeom asked me mischievously.

To that, I smiled knowingly like I was some kind of ancient martial arts hermit training and raising a disciple in the mountains.

But he actually did feel lighter, right? The system buff should be kicking in now, boosting his dance stat by two full levels.

That would mean that Baekgyeom’s dance skill was temporarily A.

It wasn’t on Haedun’s level, of course, but at the very least it was a lot closer.

I was internally smug, hoping that this chaotic Baekgyeom would finally start thinking like ‘If I listen to Ahn Yuyoung, good things will come to me even in my sleep.’

If this brat ever found out how I even got the hula hoops in the first place, he would be so grateful that he'd bow down to me…… Not really.

But still, I put in so much effort.

Since yesterday afternoon, I had been begging the writers like ‘Please, I really need it. Please get it for me. This isn’t a publicity stunt, and it’s also not just for show. I’m serious. Please.’ Even I felt ridiculous saying that stuff.

The writers definitely seemed quite flustered, but since it looked like it might do well on the show, they actually got it for me that same day.

I was a little worried they might edit this in a weird way, but…… This wasn’t the time to be nitpicking like that.

Baekgyeom getting stunned on stage was a thousand times worse than me looking like a clown.

With the hula hoop training in full swing, we also began choreography and arrangement practice.

The routine wasn’t overly difficult.

Compared to <Totter> it was less intense.

<Totter> had a lot of fluid yet fast movements.

<RELOAD> on the other hand wasn’t as fast.

The beat wasn’t heavily syncopated either.

We decided to keep the arrangement as close to the original as possible.

But this time, ‘angles’ and ‘expressions’ were key.

When I say ‘angles’, I mean sharp synchronized dance moves. We were all wearing matching outfits, and this was a performance using ‘Military’, ‘Army’ and ‘Soldiers’ as themes, which required sharp moves…… As someone who actually completed my military service, I could say with full confidence if we half-assed it we would just look like a gang of delinquents.

Since the routine also used rifle props that put a lot of restrictions on choreography that involved the upper body, which could be seen as both a weakness and a strength.

The advantage was…… Since we were holding props for most of the routine, we didn’t have to worry too much about arm movements.

The disadvantage……. There was a hidden drill sergeant in our group I had no idea about.

I couldn’t mess around while using these rifle props.

“Yuyoung-hyung! You need to press your cheek tighter against it. If you hold it sloppily, it’ll be obvious.”

“Ah, got it……”

I muttered like a scolded kid at Gong Haram, who rarely ever raised his voice.

Haram was clearly dissatisfied with my rifle-holding stance.

That hurt my pride a bit.

Hey, I served in the military, too.

I even completed civil defense training.

You weren’t even eligible for that yet.

“……Yuyoung-hyung. How much shooting practice have you actually done?”

Finally, Gong Haram was now openly poking at my manly pride.

I turned to him, completely bewildered.

For the record, I was actually pretty decent at shooting.

Sure, I used to lose my shell casings all the time, so shooting drills terrified me, but aside from that, I was pretty okay.

The reason I was hesitating to answer wasn’t because I wasn’t bad.

But I had no idea how good Ahn Yuyoung was at it.

“……Looking at Haedun-hyung’s face, I think I have my answer.”

“Wait, what? No, that’s not it!”

I whipped my head around in panic.

From far across the room, Seo Haedun was staring at me.

I couldn’t quite read the expression he was wearing.

What? What was with that look……?

“Hey……! No, It’s not what you think. Why are you staring at me? What? What?”

“Alright, let’s focus and get back to work~.”

Gong Haram clapped his hands loudly, bringing everyone’s attention back.

And for a brief second I caught a glimpse of his expression.

He was smirking.

He was…… laughing at me.

Hah, this was a serious insult to my pride!

Time passed mercilessly, indifferent to whether I was being disrespected or not.

And soon, it was the next day.

As usual, I sleepily wandered outside to do my morning hula hoop session with Baekgyeom.

“Hyung, hi.”

Beagyeom was already there. Morning workouts  could really reform people, huh?

“Hi…… Uhm? Huh?”

I yawned and reached for the hula hoop, but something seemed off.

I slowly, almost mechanically turned my head, seeing a figure both unfamiliar yet pretty familiar standing nearby.

“What are you doing?”

“Exercising.”

Of course, I understood that he was exercising.

But why was Seo Headun, at this place, at this hour, standing here with a hula hoop around his waist?

“Hey, wait a minute. Why do I have this one?”

And it wasn’t just Haedun that made this whole thing absurd.

My hula hoop was wrong.

“This isn’t mine. I didn’t get a pressure-point hula hoop. Seo Haedun. That yellow hula hoop you have? That’s mine. Give it to me.”

Haedun just stared at me……

Then he slightly shook his head.

“Shaking your head won’t change anything. I’ve been using that since yesterday.”

“Ah, Yuyoung-hyung, why are you being so uptight? Life is first come, first served.”

“What are you talking about?”

There were seven hula hoops that the production team had prepared.

Only two of them were regular ones.

The rest of them were torture devices disguised as exercise equipment, with raised plastic pressure points that stabbed into your waist every rotation.

According to the writers, one of them managed to borrow some from a cultural center. Apparently that center ran a senior wellness program, which meant that these hula hoops they brought back were pressure-point hula hoops.

‘Is this…… still okay? I mean, they’re still hula hoops, right?’

‘Ah…… Yes! Of course. Thank you so much for going through the trouble.’

I forced myself to smile and graciously accepted all seven hula hoops.

I had underestimated the situation.

After all, the only people actually doing this ridiculous training would just be me and Baekgyeom.

The remaining five hoops could just be left next to the practice room, or so I thought.

“……Hah. Baekgyeom. Life is first come, first served? You’re going to regret saying that.”

“……Shouldn’t have said that, huh? Guess I’m sleeping here tonight.”

Baekgyeom answered slyly.

But I saw it.

I saw the knuckles of his hand clutching his hula hoop like his life depended on it turning white.

“Hah…… Fine. Whatever. I can do it.”

I let out a small sigh and grabbed the pressure-point hula hoop.

It was ridiculously heavy.

Was this the weight of life……?

“Haedun-hyung, now that you’re in, you have to see this through to the end. You have to show up tomorrow too. Oh, there’s a fine system if you skip”

“……There’s no such thing, though?”

“I just created it.”

Baekgyeom, having seen his chance, started to sprout complete nonsense.

Even if I tried to stop him, it would have been pointless.

“Alright.”

And Haedun just went along with it.

Hah.

Now I was stuck doing morning workout with these two absolute maniacs with widely different brands of crazy……

My head ached.

I could feel the words ‘You crazy bastards’ rising up my throat.

“Ah, but Headun-hyung, you don’t need to practice…… If he gets any better, it’ll just put more pressure on me.”

Seo Haedun glanced at Baekgyeom.

He looked as if he wanted to say something like ‘If you have time to sprout such weak things, shut up and start practicing.’

“Alright. Now if any of you skip practice you'll be fined. Everyone is welcome. Then…… let’s spin.”

Swish, swish……

Three bodies began to sway and rock.

I started to feel a dull pain in my waist.

There was a turn of phrase that people used to describe these types of situations.

‘Walking a path of thorns’……

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