WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

[ Translation - Aren ]

I'm a Reporter, Please let me get off the Stage

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Chapter 45

“……I’m screwed.”

An instinctive curse slipped out.

“Yuyoung-nim, time to head out!”

“Urgh, Ah, yes, yes.”

……Regardless, the merciless staff pushed me forward.

I managed to unlike the post immediately, but…

There was no telling how far this had already spread.

‘Am I doomed……?’

Once something’s been screenshot, there was no turning back.

Even if I hired a digital undertaker to erase it, the original post still existed on that person’s account.

(I couldn’t just kill that person, right?)

So, did that mean that I would just be dying then?

Just like that?

After everything I went through to get here?

All because of a single misclick on Pings?!

Like a cornered rat, I darted my eyes around wildly as I rushed out of the broadcasting station.

“Whoa, crap!”

I let out a startled yelp.

They say when you were about to die, you would see the Grim reaper, and sure enough one was standing right in front of me, right now.

“……Are you alright?”

Well, that wasn’t actually the case (of course). It was just a huge security guard dressed head-to-toe in black.

I felt my face heat up with a mix of embarrassment, guilt, absurdity, and shame. Damn it.

“Are there a lot of people outside?”

IONER’s Yeeun curtly directed a question at the guard.

“……Please be careful.”

What? What was that hesitation just now?

He neither confirmed nor denied it, but that unspoken implication, like he couldn’t bring himself to say it… what the hell was that supposed to mean?

“The vehicle order is IONER, VOV, Chenstin, WEEKANIZ, then Loop7. Please board one by one.”

Following the security guard’s instructions, we lined up in a single file.

I watched as Yeeun, Yeojun, and Yuho took turns getting into their vans.

I could see flashes going off outside.

It seemed like some photographers had already packed up from the press event and repositioned themselves at the exit for departure shots.

I thought that was a fortunate thing.

Even if just one photographer had decided to stick around for the so-called ‘commute home’ coverage……

“Yuyoung-nim, you’re up!”

I stepped out toward the van.

The moment I did, flashes exploded all around me.

I forced myself not to wince. If I frowned here, the media wouldn’t give me a second chance.

I had just seen articles titled <(Photo)‘Ultimate Idol’ Yuyoung, squinting against the light with a ‘Scowl’?> 

A washed-up idol who flinches at camera flashes……

It wasn’t just ridiculous, it was downright pathetic.

Pity points? Yeah, those things didn’t work anymore these days.

I forced my eyes wide open and walked ahead.

The van was barely a few steps away. Maybe ten seconds at a normal pace?

But my nerves stretched each moment out like an eternity.

The flashes fired a couple more times for maybe two or three seconds, before stopping altogether.

“……”

And the fans……

There weren’t any.

Now this was peak evidence for being a flop idol.

Not a single fan at the exit.

“Yuyoung!”

“……?”

Did I mishear that?

I instinctively looked around, but I couldn’t find the source of the voice calling my name so affectionately.

“Yuyoung! Ahn Yuyoung!”

“……!”

Then, all of a sudden, the voice rang out again, loud and clear, calling out ‘Ahn Yuyoung’, as if they wanted to be noticed by me.

I turned my head all the way back.

My steps faltered for a brief moment.

Between the photographers, who were peering through their massive cameras, hunting for their next target.

Among those people, who spared me only two seconds of their attention.

A short, young looking girl stood there.

And she was staring straight at me!

“Yuyoung! It’s okay!”

“……Thank y-……”

“No matter what anyone says, you’re not a failure!”

“Cough!”

A cough burst out of me on reflex.

The surrounding reporters widened their eyes and turned to look at her as well.

But the one who had just dropped that bombshell? Her gaze was still unwavering, steady and determined.

She even held a camera, though compared to the massive equipment the reporters were carrying, hers seemed practically pocket-sized.

Then again, firepower wasn’t always about the size of the weapon.

“You’re the best, Oppa!”

First, she spoke informally. Now, she called me oppa?

But this wasn’t the time to nitpick over such trivial things.

Her eyes were far too clear and sincere for that.

“……Thank you very much!”

I couldn’t help but bow deeply, pouring as much genuine gratitude into my voice as I could muster.

“Thank you, Yuyoung!”

Even after I climbed into the van with heavily tinted windows, she kept waving enthusiastically.

She knew I could see her, even if she couldn’t see me anymore.

Kim Kihun wasted no time pulling the car away.

The entrance I had walked out of wasn’t particularly crowded, but as we merged onto the main road, the silence suddenly felt more pronounced.

I let out a long sigh and sank into the seat.

Now that the tension had drained from my body all at once, my consciousness felt like it was drifting away.

“That girl must really like you, Yuyoung.”

Just as the navigation system announced that we had entered the highway, Kim Kihun spoke to me in a low voice.

“……Who? ……The fan from earlier?”

I had just been about to check my phone to see how the whole ‘public account blunder’ had blown up.

Caught off guard by Kihun’s words, I quickly ran through my memory to recall that fan.

“Yeah. Don’t tell me you already forgot?”

“Ah, no, of course not. I was just a little out of it for a second.”

Kihun didn’t press further even though the excuse I gave him was pretty vague.

“She’s been following you around with just her phone camera since your debut, and now she’s even bringing some real equipment…… How old was she again?”

“Hmm…… I’m not sure.”

“You said you heard that she was in high school at a fansign once, right?.... So she must be in her early twenties by now.”

“Tha-that seems to be the case.”

……Whenever conversations about Ahn Yuyoung’s past came up, I always turned into a mute.

Especially with Kim Kihun. Ever since we first met, it felt like he was constantly testing me, bringing up the past every chance he got.

Was that just what happened when people got old?

Not that I, who technically was the same age as him, had any right to say that.

“She used to show up at every single fansign. even when they were limited to just a hundred people. Never missed a single music show taping, either. You don’t see that kind of dedication these days. If she were my daughter, I’d be losing my mind, haha.”

Kim Kihun chuckled like a stereotypical middle-aged uncle.

‘Man, why are you acting like this when she’s not actually your daughter?’

……That’s what I wanted to retort with, but honestly, listening to Kim Kihun’s words brought up a lot of thoughts for me as well.

The real Ahn Yuyoung would know that fan’s name, her age, and how deeply she cared for him.

But I was just a guy wearing Ahn Yuyoung’s shell, pretending to be him. (And, considering that girl’s age, I was basically an old man in comparison).

She was cheering me on with everything she had, completely unaware of this truth…… and that kept making me feel  needlessly guilty.

The guy she was so hopelessly devoted to, well, who knew where he was now.

“……I have to do my best.”

“Huh? What’s gotten into you? Feeling energized after getting cheered on in person for the first time in a while?”

Kim Kihun smiled warmly.

No, well, it wasn’t anything as positive and heartwarming as that.

“……It just feels like more than I deserve.”

I needed to return this girl’s heartfelt support, that sincere gaze that I couldn’t just ignore, to the rightful owner of this body.

I had already spent 29 years just enduring life without any real sense of purpose. I could handle that.

I ate, slept, and grew up as my body naturally allowed. I studied just to pass the time, went to college, got a job, and earned money because I needed to eat and sleep somewhere.

That was how my unimpressive life had gone up to this point

The desire to ‘become’ something, to ‘want’ something, had always ended in disappointment, so I aimed to live without expectations.

If you started with zero expectations, at least you had less to be disappointed about. I was convinced that this was the better deal.

What mattered more than the satisfaction of achieving something was the avoidance of the disappointment of failing to achieve it.

……But now, too many things had changed for me to stay this complacent.

It was no longer a matter of ‘If I don’t do this, I’ll be in trouble.’

Now it was ‘If I don’t do this, I’ll die.’

There was no time for me to worry about disappointment or regret.

‘Survival’ came first.

I had never struggled so desperately just to stay alive before in all this time I had been part of human society.

It felt like I had been thrown into the wild, like a baby bird forced out of the nest too soon.

A helpless little sparrow that didn’t even know how to hunt for food or how to bathe.

So, to avoid dying, I diligently moved.

It was a brutally simple way of living.

Each day was a relentless battle to fulfill the basic need to survive.

And if that need ever disappeared, I probably wouldn’t last even three days in this body.

That thought alone left a dry taste in my mouth, and my stomach churning.

‘……Until I find him,’

I retraced the memory from earlier.

Those wide, earnest eyes staring up at me.

That young, innocent face.

That voice, trembling with emotion, completely out of place in that situation.

Honestly, back when I was a rookie reporter, I had followed some photographers to events a few times.

I would see fans willing to shove, push, and endure anything just for a fleeting glimpse of their idols.

Even the most seasoned reporter would shake their heads in disbelief at their sheer determination.

‘……I have to find him.’

Even if, to her, he was just one of many idols she admired in passing.

Feelings that sincere weren’t something just anyone could give or receive.

They belong only to those with the courage to offer them and to those truly deserving of them.

I already knew I wasn’t the kind of person who deserved them, so at the very least, I had to do my best to return them to their rightful owner.

That was the only thing I could do in response to those eyes that had met mine.

It felt like it was my duty, since I had borrowed this body, even though unintentionally.

“……I don’t know if I’ll be able to find him though.”

“Huh? Find who?”

“Ah, nevermind. It’s nothing.”

Kim Kihun reacted to my sudden comment, but I brushed it off with a small smile, turning my gaze out of the window.

“What’s your goal in life, Hyung?”

“Hmm…… That’s a deep question all of a sudden. Let’s see…… Just to stay healthy and not get sick, I guess?”

“That’s a good one.”

“What about you? Try to think of something big.”

“Hmm……”

I answered in my head.

If it were my past life I probably would have said something like ‘The bigger the expectation, the bigger the disappointment’.

A goal a hundred light years away from what Kim Kihun meant by ‘big dream’.

Mainly the reason I avoided disappointment in my past life was because, despite everything, I still thought I had something to lose in that miserable life.

But not anymore.

There was nothing left for me to lose anymore.

Which meant, in a way, there was nothing stopping me from moving forward.

I think I finally understood why wild animals were so bold and full of life.

Because this was the wild.

For some, this might be about ‘dreams’, ‘goals’, ‘self-actualization’, some grand meaningful pursuits.

But for me, it was ‘survival’. And more than that, it was my ‘duty’ to return this heart I borrowed to where it belongs.

“Hah……”

A faint breath fogged up the window.

Who would win and who would lose in this jungle?

I guess I would have to find out.

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