WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

[ Translation - Aren ]

I'm a Reporter, Please let me get off the Stage

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Chapter 31

“What if we get an evil edit and get eliminated right away?”

“Why are you spouting such unlucky things from the start……?”

At last.

The day I had been waiting for (not really).

The day I had been anticipating (like a death sentence).

That day had come.

It was the first day of recording for <Ultimate Idol>.

Early this morning, before going to bed, I prayed to every deity I could think of.

Dagun, my ancestors, God, Buddha, Allah.

At some point in my life, even my parents appeared godlike to me, so I threw them into the mix as well.

Honestly, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that I simply prayed to anything or anyone one might call a ‘higher being’ or something.

It wasn’t like I even believed in gods.

I basically thought that gods were useless and inherently unfriendly toward humanity.

However, now wasn’t time for skepticism.

……I had no other choice but to clasp my hands together in my desperation.

At this point, I felt like even grabbing a random street cat and proclaiming it a ‘cat god’ would make me feel better.

My body had changed, time had reversed.

And the most creepy thing was that machine.

That eerie System window, constantly yet quietly gripping me by the throat.

That mysterious piece of software that almost seemed to have sentience……

Ah, if one ever were to make a movie with this kind of plot, people would call it cheesy and childish.

I kind of felt like I could understand now why people were so easily deceived by cults when they’re struggling, desperate and exhausted.

‘……Still, what choice do I have here?’

If that was what it took to keep living, then I would do it.

I would rather roll around in shit than cross over to the afterlife. That was what I lived by.

If I had just sat down and wallowed in despair after my body changed, I would’ve hit a notoriety level of 100 a long time ago already.

It was a miracle that I had survived this long without getting buried underground.

Going forward, all I needed to do was endure, telling myself that I wasn’t dead yet at least.

“……Are you uncomfortable?”

“No…… It’s just a little ticklish.”

“Haha.”

Having someone else do my makeup still felt pretty awkward.

I exchanged some sheepish laughter with the stylist.

The sensation of the brush on my cheek felt strange.

If I let my guard down even the slightest, the ticklish feeling might actually make me giggle weirdly.

On top of that, they were fussing over every little hair on my face, from my eyebrows to my eyelashes.

Remembering that some professional idols even fell asleep while getting this done to their faces made them seem like total gods to me.

Feeling rather self-conscious, I rolled my eyes, looking toward the mirror next to me.

Sanho, who already was ridiculously handsome, was in the middle of what looked like the installation of metaphorical fluorescent lights on his face.

Huh, but……

“Huh? Wait!”

“What?”

“Isn’t that color, erm, too dark?”

I practically squawked before I even realized it.

My mouth opened wide, and my head jerked forward slightly while I did that.

The stylist’s hand, which had been moving before my face, flinched slightly and wobbled to my movement.

It seemed like she was in the middle of adding some shading…… now I felt kind of sorry.

The reason I was so surprised was because of Yoon Sanho’s face. It wasn’t because he was unbelievably handsome, but rather out of fear of the problematic smokey makeup that had ruined Yoon Sanho’s refreshing vibe in the past.

“Do you think this is fine?”

The stylist who was applying eyeshadow to Sanho’s face, asked casually.

There was a light coffee-milk-colored base on her palm.

To be honest, I wasn’t someone who could easily distinguish one shade of eyeshadow from another.

I wasn’t even anywhere close to those beauty gurus who shouted stuff like ‘There’s no such thing as the same red under the sky!’

I was more like the type of guy who would say ‘You look pretty.’ no matter how my girlfriend looked, though it might make me look less sincere for sounding generic.

Before I changed bodies, the most effort I had put into my skincare was remembering to apply some sunscreen.

I was the epitome of your average guy.

But now, I couldn’t afford to stay indifferent anymore.

My livelihood and my life depended on this face now.

No one knew that better than myself.

“You used the reference I sent the other day, right?”

“Of course. Sanho-ssi, is this okay?”

“Aah, yeah, yeah.”

“Don’t worry. This is just base shading, so it won’t even show under the lights. I’ll make it look as natural as possible.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Oh my, Yuyoung-ssi, do you have some expertise in makeup?”

The salon owner chimed in with a refreshing laugh.

I laughed rather awkwardly, but didn’t answer her.

How could I possibly admit that I had spent the past few days collecting and analyzing makeup references from other male idols?

I had combed through hundreds of photos, narrowing them down to the ones that would suit Sanho best, which were fresh and innocent looks.

Usually, idol makeup was bold, sparkly, and flashy, but……

Since Yoon Sanho had some trauma with smokey eye makeup, I thought that a more soft, natural style might put him at ease.

I personally delivered the compiled references to the styling team a couple of days ago.

Of course, I also included pictures of the smokey makeup Sanho hated so much, the ones that had him tossing and turning at night.

It was for the sake of comparison and analysis.

When the stylist received the pictures in our group chat, they responded with just one word.

“Ah……”

That one word showed that they completely understood, which was rather reassuring.

“Hyung, did you really prepare the references?”

Yoon Sanho, inspecting his face in the mirror from every angle, looked at me with slightly surprised eyes.

“It’s nothing special, You’re the face of our group, after all. I just asked them to take good care of you.”

“……Thank you.”

[Favorability increased! The member is truly moved by you. Persuasion will be easier in future ‘conflict’ situations with the member.]

Yeah, yeah.

I didn’t need the status window to tell me that.

I could see how Sanho’s eyes were moving around in shy embarrassment.

He was still such a kid, getting flustered by this minor amount of care.

I didn’t know whether we would succeed, but if I somehow managed to survive and WEEKANIZ managed to secure a place in the industry, reaching the true ending I was aiming for, I just hoped that these kids wouldn’t turn into arrogant brats and end up betraying my hopes and consequently kill me.

Like how the actor Hyun Jiwoo ended up for example.

“By the way, Yuyoung-ssi, about  <Ultimate Idol>, why do they make you stay in a dorm together?”

“Good question, I’m also curious about that.”

“They didn’t tell you anything?”

“Hmm. we got these guidelines about……”

“……”

“About what?”

“Ah, I can't quite remember. Haha.”

……I almost landed myself in big trouble!

I was about to spill some highly confidential information about the show without even realizing it.

We hadn’t even started the first recording yet……

I noticed the way the salon owner’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.

I knew that look.

It was the look of someone on the hunt for some celebrity gossip.

Her eyes were practically begging for some juicy scoop.

I clearly remembered the guidelines stating ‘No part of the above provisions may be disclosed.’

There was no way I would board the train leading to hell for something as ridiculous as leaking confidential information.

“You sure have a lot of secrets, Yuyoung-ssi.”

“……Huh? Haha, well.”

The salon owner murmured quietly, giving me a sly grin before casually strolling off toward the shampoo station.

……So that was what one called peak-leve social experience, huh?

That subtle yet pointed question almost got me.

Still, I managed to keep my mouth shut. Good going, me.

“Phew……”

[Alert! A member has violated the rules.]

[Alert! A member 30 meters to your right has violated the rules.]

30 meters to my right?

If it was to my right, that would be……

“Baek Gyeom!!!”

“Woah, that surprised me. What’s up, Hyung?”

Jump!!!

……After a few seconds of utter confusion, I came back to my senses.

I literally ‘jumped’ up to my feet.

Everyone was staring at me with wide eyes.

And Baek Gyeom……

He was pointing at himself, blinking innocently.

I probably let out a really loud shout as I jumped up from my seat.

I quickly approached Baek Gyeom and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“Did you…… forget that everything we read in the guidelines yesterday is classified?”

“Oh, crap. Right. Man, what was I thinking?”

Baek Gyeom gasped and covered his mouth with his hand.

I let out a small sigh.

I hadn’t caught a single word of what he had been saying earlier, but judging by the circumstances, it seemed like he had been talking to the stylist about the program.

He was the one most excited about appearing in a TV broadcast, after all.

He probably got carried away and rambled on about it in his excitement.

That was when I finally noticed the intense throbbing sensation at the back of my head.

[Stamina : 40/60]

[Stamina decreased by 10 due to an emergency event.]

Was this what they meant when people said their energy would plummet to the ground?

Ahm, I was already this drained even before the first broadcast.

It seemed like I would have to use some stamina recovery items to get myself back into shape……

* * *

The current time was 10:13 am.

After getting polished and prepped to perfection since early morning, the members and I had been traveling across some winding mountain roads.

It felt like we had been driving for over an hour.

Just where the hell was this studio……?

This place was completely isolated.

If I got off here now, there would be no way for me to get back to Seoul on my own.

The only sound filling the van was the faint sounds of snoring from someone.

“Whoa, this is bad.”

Haram was the one to break this silence.

“What’s wrong?”

“This is really bad. I think I forgot something.”

“What is it?”

“Ah, I packed it… I’m pretty sure I did. Wait, my bag……”

Haram didn’t answer the question.

He just blankly stared into space, muttering ‘I’m doomed’

Why was he like that?

“Manager Hyung, do we have some extra time?”

“Yeah, the traffic out of Seoul wasn’t as bad as expected……Why? You want me to pull over?”

“Yes. Haram needs to check his bag real quick.”

“I told you to pack everything properly the night before, you know?”

The manager clicked his tongue slightly and pulled over to the side of the road.

As soon as the van came to a stop and the doors opened, Haram practically rolled out of the car.

He opened the trunk and unzipped his suitcase.

After rummaging through it a few times, he froze in place, his expression completely blank.

It seemed like whatever he was searching for wasn’t there.

“So what exactly did you forget?”

“Haram, don’t tell me……”

Hearing my exasperated voice, Tae Oh chimed in, seemingly having figured it out.

“Wait, did you forget to bring that underwear?”

“……What are you talking about?”

“Ah, how could I leave them behind? I must be losing it.”

Under……What?

“Hyung, you know. Haram’s orange boxer briefs, the ones he wears on important days, like on every comeback day. Remember?”

“……What?”

“Ah! I hand-washed them last night and left them drying on the kitchen chair, but forgot to pack them……”

Hey.

God. Buddha. All the other deities generally believed to exist in this world.

Why does it feel like I’m getting constantly derailed, even though I’m not even a train?

“Wut do we do…… Haram Hyung’s all nervous without ‘em.”

Ire mumbled, still slightly sleepy, having just woken up, still wrapped in his sleeping bag like a cocoon.

Looking at Haram’s devastated expression……

I decided to abandon any attempt to make sense of this situation.

I was better at that than anyone else. Alright.

“……Haram, being an adult means letting go of sentimental attachments. Even to your underwear.”

I spoke with mock seriousness.

To that, Haram gave me a small nod.

“Alright, guys, let’s get moving. Get in, hurry.”

Afraid of being left behind, the others hurriedly rushed back into the van at the manager’s words.

I also got back in.

Gong Haram, he was more eccentric than I had expected.

No, this wasn’t strange at all. Right. Everyone had that one lucky pair of underwear, right?

I could handle this. I should be mature about this. We can do this.

“……Haram, wasn’t your dad in the military?”

“……Yes, he was.”

He was the only child of a strict military family, and yet……

This world sure was such a strange, unpredictable place.

I mean, it always had been, but still.

Somehow, this didn’t feel reassuring at all……

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