WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

[ Translation - Aren ]

I'm a Reporter, Please let me get off the Stage

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Chapter 30

The more I learned, the less I understood.

This pretty much summed up my understanding of Chae Ire.

Did high-end makeup stores usually provide stylists as part of the package?

As far as I knew ‘Absolutely not’.

Yet, contrary to my common sense, the three stylists assigned to our group were busily taking everyone's measurements.

“Hyung, what’s with that face you’re making? Do you miss that stylist, Kim Minyoung, or something?”

Baek Gyeom smirked as he jabbed me in the side with his elbow.

“……Kim, who?”

“No need to hide it from us.”

Seriously, who……? Ah.

Stylist Kim Minyoung?

It’s been a while since I last heard that name.

She was someone I had crossed paths with back in the days when I was rolling around in the mud, trying to somehow get rid of my notoriety.

I almost forgot about her. I owed her quite a bit, so I felt kind of bad for forgetting.

And yet, Baek Gyeom remembered her name so clearly.

Looking at his sly grin……. His intentions were crystal clear.

Seriously, people in this country are simply too obsessed with other people’s love lives.

Even when there wasn’t even the slightest trace of romantic connection between me and her.

Chae Ire’s older cousin, who ran this shop, agreed to provide us with stylists for our recording day.

That included on-site hair and makeup.

What on earth did Chae Ire offer as collateral to get such generous support?

Was it actually…… an arranged marriage?”

“My dad’s really against me being an idol.”

“Ah……”

Darn. So it wasn’t an arranged marriage……

‘……’

Wait, who was it earlier who thought ‘People in this country are too obsessed with others’ love lives’?

I suddenly felt a little embarrassed .

“Hyung, over here.”

“Huh?”

Smiling brightly, Chae Ire motioned for me to come closer.

It looked like he wanted to share something secretive with me, whispering in my ear.

What was it now? Could he have used my name as collateral as well?

“If this album flops again……”

“……”

“……I’ll have to go back home.”

Chae Ire glanced around cautiously, before giving me a soft smile.

It seemed like he didn’t want to say it too loudly, probably trying to avoid bringing the mood down, so he chose to threaten (?) me in private like that……

Still, it wasn’t like I didn’t have anything to reply with.

“……You might not know this, but I’ve also put something on the line here.”

Sure, you just had to go back home.

But I would be headed straight for hell.

* * *

Two days before the first recording of <Ultimate Idol>.

Two days before the release of <Totter>.

Our manager, Kim Kihun, received an official announcement from the broadcasting station.

Since we were in the middle of our final practice, we all sat in a circle in the practice room, passing around the paper.

<Participant Dormitory Rules>

1. The wake-up time in the dormitory is 6:40 am.

2. Any acts involving alcohol consumption or excessive noise are strictly prohibited inside the dormitory.

3. Smoking is prohibited throughout the entire dormitory.

4. The distance between the practice room and the dormitory is about 600 meters outside. Please make your presence known if you go between the two late at night.

“Wait, what’s this clause about?”

The first to speak up was Seo Haedun.

His gaze was fixed precisely on Rule 4.

“……This feels oddly familiar.”

I also tilted my head, a strange sense of foreboding bubbling up inside of me.

“……This is like a night watch in the military.”

Haedun muttered.

I slapped my knee, agreeing. That was what this felt like!

“Right? It’s exactly like that. They tell you to make some noise when you’re on night duty, so people don’t freak out thinking you’re a ghost. Haha."

Fragments of my military service from when I was 22 came back to me.

On those dark mountain ridges, where the only sound one could hear were cries of wild animals, juniors used to freak out even at the sight of a normal deer.

“……You don’t remember?”

“Huh? Remember what?”

Seo Haedun suddenly raised his eyebrows slightly when he looked at me.

What was he trying to say?

“The one who freaked out and even fell over…… was you.”

“……Huh?”

……Damn it, Ahn Yuyoung.

This goddamn coward!

“Ha-haha! Haha. Right, Ah, yeah~ who doesn’t have their clumsy moments, huh? Haha. Anyway, you guys better stomp around a lot while walking around at night, alright? Please? Okay?”

Ah, so embarrassing.

Before I knew it, overly exaggerated words started to spill out of my mouth.

I wasn’t really the type to scare easily.

But apparently, the body I was in now wasn’t cut from the same cloth.

How could something this unfair even happen to me……?

Honestly, this felt like the most unjust moment I experienced ever since I woke up in this damn body.

“Hmm, judging by the fact that there’s no lights-out time mentioned anywhere, I guess they’re not planning to give us any time to sleep.”

“Didn’t expect them to. Who’s going to sleep peacefully there anyway? They’re clearly setting us up to fight and stuff.”

Haram and Baek Gyeom casually exchanged some words with each other.

They didn’t even pay attention to me at all…… which somehow felt even more humiliating.

I let my open hands slap against my knees.

Was I supposed to pretend to be scared if some kind of ghost showed up in the future or something?

Playing dead would be easier than that. If you wanted acting skills, they should have put me inside an actor instead of an idol, you damn status window.

While I was mentally beating up the status window, our manager stayed completely serious.

After carefully reading through the copied notice paper, he leaned against the wall and looked at us.

“The dorm period lasts a total of five weeks. About a month and a half. Uniforms will be provided, but you’ll need to bring your own toiletries and electronic devices. Oh, and phones have to be handed in on recording days.”

“Hand in our phones? Not even high school kids have to do that anymore.”

Baek Gyeom exclaimed.

“There’s nothing you can’t do on a phone these days.”

“What kind of shady stuff are they planning to pull……?”

Tea Oh let out a gasp.

Well. It’s a broadcasting station we’re talking about, so, of course, they were strict, but…… Let’s not forget that idols had done their fair share of ‘shady stuff’ with their phones as well. Haha.

Thanks to that, entertainment reporters who survived on gossip, were able to write countless articles about certain things after all.

“Wait, what’s this?”

Haram, who had been quietly reading the notice, suddenly pointed something out.

-  Each group leader will be given an ‘Emergency Bell’ that may only be used once during the dorm period. We recommend careful use.

“Emergency bell?”

The whole group was utterly surprised by that word.

“Emergency Bell? Like an actual ‘wee-woo wee-woo’ emergency bell?”

Wee-woo, wee-woo, huh……

Emergency? Like an actual emergency situation?

Wait, what the heck kind of program was this?

The fact that they even anticipated something like that to happen was pretty horrifying.

“Wait, is this program secretly about training idol group leaders to do…… circus acts on stage or something?”

Sanho, his eyes wide in shock, blurted out this ridiculous question.

“No way. It’s supposed to be a family-friendly tame program on public broadcasting with a full studio setup.”

I answered, but even as I said that, my temples started to feel hot and itchy, like cold sweat was flowing over them.

What if they really made us do acrobatic stunts on stage?

Or worse, what if they asked for performances that involved things like…… jumping through flaming hoops?

The fact that they only gave them to the leaders made this even scarier.

On the other hand, I felt a little regretful.

If I had known about something like this back when I still was a reporter, I could’ve churned out headlines with words like ‘Exclusive’, ‘Breaking News’, ‘Focus Feature’, or ‘Through the Lens of Reporter Park’ to get even more clicks.

“I have no idea how to prepare for this.”

Unfortunately, I wasn’t a reporter anymore, but an idol.

I was in no position anymore to write articles…… but to be written about.

A completely passive role!

This was the absolute worst. Damn it.

“Well, the first thing that comes to mind is an injury, but……. normally, people don't say ‘Press the emergency bell’ when someone gets hurt or something, right?”

Haedun camly analyzed.

The members all nodded in agreement.

“Right. You usually press an emergency bell when…… You’re trapped somewhere.”

“Gasp.”

Tae Oh’s words made everyone hold their breath.

“……Like when we’re isolated somewhere? Something like ‘Please come save me’?”

“Are we secretly heading off to film <Crisis Escape No. 1> or something?”

“Should I start learning how to deal with choking on a fishbone or something starting now?”

Ire, Sanho, and Baek Gyeom chimed in one after the other.

Tae Oh’s ideas seem rather fresh and sharp.

But the responses he got were……as simplistic as could be.

I couldn’t help but sigh.

What was I supposed to do with these fools?

Their simplistic thoughts were slowly starting to pollute my own mind.

I could feel myself becoming just as simple-minded.

Thanks to them I couldn’t think of anything else but <Crisis Escape No.1>.

In that case, now was the time to call on my assistant.

My second brain.

The one and only, status window……

[The status window is not your assistant ^^;;]

How strange.

How did it read my thoughts so accurately?

Were my brain’s nerves somehow connected to it?

That thought made a chill run down my spine.

I felt like knowing more would only end up hurting me more.

If I kept making it angry, I felt like it might take away what little it had given me, so I should probably leave it at that and just check the shop.

[<Notebook Bookmark> : – 50 points]

A very welcome item, a bookmark.

And it was active and available for use.

Based on my experience so far, if an item became available, it meant that it was the exact thing I would need at that moment.

Although, they came a bit late when I was trying to learn the choreography…… which gave me a taste of hell, but still.

It arrived right on time this time. How great is that?

After all, in this country, even Buddha or Jesus would get cursed at, if they just randomly dropped by on a weekend.

Hopefully, the status window had finally realized this immutable rule and would keep acting like this in the future.

As I imagined myself and the status window shaking hands beneath a giant plaque that read ‘Mutual Agreement on Timely Recommendations’, I smiled warmly.

[<Notebook Bookmark> purchased]

I’ll use it right away!

<‘The Ultimate Idol’ ratings hit 8.6%... What’s the mystery behind the ‘Emergency Bell’>

Ooh, as expected!

I couldn’t help but be deeply impressed.

Look at that. It just pulled out exactly what I wanted. Wasn’t that just the best?

Life was 50% luck and 50% items, after all.

Even though I said that I wasn’t one to rely on luck.

But honestly, I did firmly believe that luck was a force that definitely existed in this world.

Which was why I felt so upset, since I always had 0 luck.

So I had to place all my faith in items.

Sure, my starting stats were shit, but I was the type of dedicated heavy spender who would definitely buy his way to victory.

Feeling slightly cheerful, I started reading the article.

<……Meanwhile ‘Ultimate Idol’ has introduced a never-before-seen system called the ‘Emergency Bell’, drawing significant attention.

The use of this ‘Emergency Bell’, which reportedly shocked the participants, and the identity of the first contestant to use it have become key points of interest for viewers.

‘Ultimate Idol’ airs every Saturday at 7 pm on KTN……>

“Ah, for f–…….”

“…… Hyung, what’s wrong? Are you mad?”

Haram looked at me with concern.

This is…

Just ridiculous……

‘I got click-baited……’

Could bookmarks click-bait people now?

This was it.

It was one of those damn teasers that threw out hooks but never delivered on the content promised in the headlines.

It kicked up a fuss acting as if no one would click on it, but everyone would.

An article full of flashy, meaningless buzzwords, the kind that left one fed up after reading just one paragraph……

Otherwise known as press releases from PR agencies.

“Hah…… I got click-baited by that kind of article.”

“What are you talking about, Hyung?”

Thud.

I let myself fall backward, feeling nothing but futility.

Haram, seeing me like this, let out a small sigh and looked away.

Yeah, just leave me alone for a bit.

A wave of scorching solitude washed over me.

It became increasingly clear that the system wasn’t on my side.

I started to feel unbearable shame remembering the ridiculous fantasies of handshakes and agreement ceremonies I had just earlier.

Was I just too pure for this world? Should I be protected from this world somehow? Maybe I was actually a pure angel who carries the burdens of someone else’s karma?

‘Pure angel, my foot……’

What kind of universe would promote a scumbag who made a living off clickbaity articles to the rank of angel?

Ah, I was starting to seriously worry about the first day of recording two days from now.

And.

I was also starting to worry about my own life, feeling as if I made a terrible mistake while allocating my initial stats……

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