Three Thousand Beauties in the Harem

"Long live His Majesty, ten thousand years, ten thousand times ten thousand years!"

The assembled ministers bowed in unison toward Gu Qingfeng, who sat high upon the dragon throne.

"Ahem. Rise, my lords," Gu Qingfeng said, barely suppressing his glee as he forced a dignified tone.

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

The ministers stood and took their positions.

Gu Qingfeng surveyed them with immense satisfaction, feeling absolutely exhilarated.

So this is what it feels like to be emperor? Damn, this is good!

"If there are matters to report, speak now. Otherwise, this court is dismissed."

A eunuch standing nearby announced this in a somewhat odd tone.

The reason for his strange expression was simple—everything had happened too fast. Before he could even process it, the Great Yan Dynasty had changed hands.

What was most baffling was that, looking back through history, no usurpation had ever been this effortless.

Every recorded coup in history had required rivers of blood, sometimes staining the entire capital.

But this new emperor's ascension? Only the late emperor and the crown prince had died—then it was done.

The eeriest part was that none of the capital's great noble families, high-ranking officials, or powerful ministers had raised a single objection. It was as if they had collectively forgotten the late emperor.

As if Gu Qingfeng had always been the ruler.

For days now, the palace eunuchs, maids, and imperial concubines had been in a daze, unsure how to act.

"Your Majesty, this subject has a petition," said a stern-looking, white-haired minister as he stepped forward respectfully.

Gu Qingfeng glanced at him. "And you are?"

"Replying to Your Majesty, this humble official is Lu Xiangfei, currently serving as Grand Chancellor." (Special appearance by reader Xiaofeima.)

"Ah, Grand Chancellor Lu. What is it?"

"It concerns the burial arrangements for the late emperor, as well as the placement of the imperial princes, princesses, and the late emperor's consorts. We await Your Majesty's wise decision."

Gu Qingfeng stroked his chin in thought. "My—ahem—our elder brother lived a simple life. He wouldn’t have wanted extravagance in death either, so skip the imperial tomb. Just bury him somewhere random."

The nearby eunuch’s heart nearly stopped. He stole glances at the ministers, expecting outrage—but not a single one protested.

Furious, the eunuch cursed inwardly: Traitors, every last one of them! After all the late emperor did for you!

Yet despite his silent fury, his face remained perfectly composed. Clearly, he had no intention of speaking up.

The dead were dead, but the living still had to live.

"As for the princes... Well, jade must be carved to become a vessel. How can my nephews grow strong if they’re coddled in luxury? Strip them of their titles and send them to the borderlands. Let them toughen up.

The princesses and consorts? Well, I promised our elder brother before his passing that I’d take care of his wives and daughters. I’m sure his spirit will rest easy knowing they’re in good hands."

"Your Majesty’s benevolence knows no bounds. Truly a ruler for the ages—we are in awe," Grand Chancellor Lu Xiangfei said with deep admiration.

The other ministers quickly echoed the praise.

"Alright, anything else? If not, I’ll head to the inner palace to... comfort my sisters-in-law. They must be devastated after my elder brother’s passing."

Gu Qingfeng was already shifting impatiently, ready to leave—but Lu Xiangfei spoke again.

"Your Majesty, there is one more matter. Recently, the northwest suffered a severe drought. The people have no harvest, and disaster relief is urgently needed."

"Disaster relief? Then relieve it!"

"Your Majesty, the number of victims is vast. The treasury’s funds and grain stores may not suffice. This humble official suggests... raising taxes—"

"Hold it!" Gu Qingfeng cut him off. "If the treasury’s empty, why don’t you all chip in? What do I keep you around for? Everyone knows you ministers are richer than I am!

Here’s the deal—each of you coughs up half your wealth for relief efforts. That’s final."

The ministers’ faces paled, but none dared object. They had all sworn oaths of loyalty—defiance was unthinkable.

"Your subjects obey Your Majesty’s decree."

"From now on, don’t bother me with this kind of thing. If money’s needed, you pay first. Only after you’ve exhausted all the wealth you’ve embezzled over the years do you touch the treasury. Understood?"

"Understood, Your Majesty."

"Good. Court dismissed."

Without waiting for the ministers’ farewells, Gu Qingfeng hurried off to the inner palace.

......

Inner Palace.

"How many imperial consorts are there?"

"Replying to Your Majesty, there are 3,721."

"How many?!" Gu Qingfeng exclaimed.

"3,721," the attending eunuch repeated respectfully.

That many? How am I supposed to comfort all of them?

"Is there a registry?"

"Of course, Your Majesty. One moment."

Soon, a eunuch rushed over with the registry—complete with portraits.

Gu Qingfeng flipped through it, eyes widening at the sight.

Beauties. Every single one, a stunning beauty!

"Summon the Virtuous Consort, the Noble Consort, the Graceful Consort, the Benevolent Consort, and the Gentle Consort."

"As you command, Your Majesty."

A long while later...

Gu Qingfeng stared in horror at the five trembling elderly women before him.

He bolted for the door.

"These are the Virtuous, Noble, Graceful, Benevolent, and Gentle Consorts?! They’re all grannies!"

"Replying to Your Majesty, these consorts were the late emperor’s earliest companions. Naturally, their age..."

"Damn it! Why didn’t you say so earlier?!" Gu Qingfeng roared.

The eunuch dropped to his knees, kowtowing frantically. "This lowly one deserves death! Spare me, Your Majesty!"

"Enough. Tell me—are there any younger consorts?"

"Well... the late emperor was over a hundred years old. Though he continued selecting consorts, the youngest chosen were around eighty."

"What?! Eighty?! So the youngest consort here was selected over twenty years ago? Even if they were sixteen then, they’d be pushing forty now!"

"Your Majesty, the late emperor lived to 112."

"112?! So the youngest is in her fifties?! Unbelievable!"

Gu Qingfeng’s earlier excitement had turned to utter despair.

"Your Majesty... shall we proceed with the comforting?" the eunuch ventured cautiously.

"Comfort my—ahem—what I mean is, since the consorts are all so... mature, they must have already come to terms with life and death. They don’t need my comfort. I’ll go console my nieces instead. Speaking of—how old are my actual nieces?"

"Replying... replying to Your Majesty, the late emperor stopped having children forty years ago, so..."

"Damn it all! Return to the palace!" Gu Qingfeng’s face darkened.

"Oh, and send someone to Prince Gu's Mansion. Bring over all my former maidservants."

"At once, Your Majesty."

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