Chapter 38

Chapter 38

A sharp, tingling sensation crept up my spine and struck the back of my head.

“N-No way… Don’t tell me… I’m too… late…?”

The strength drained from my legs, and everything before me went dark. The blood flowing in reverse through my veins seemed to paralyze my brain.

Why couldn’t I see anything?

Was I… really too late?

This had been our one and only chance… and even that, I failed to seize.

In the end, I hadn’t protected him—not even at the very last moment.

Unconsciously, I shook my head.

“No.”

There was no way.

“Please…”

Tell me it’s not true.

──It was then.

The rope tied to the window frame twitched, and I heard something like a man’s groan.

I rushed to the window. Outside, entangled in branches and rope, was him—wincing in pain.

Thank god. Because he’d gotten caught in the tree, it looked like his neck hadn’t broken.

“…Ugh.”

Summoning the last of my strength, I pulled him up and tore away the rope around his neck.

Around the pale nape of his neck was a deep, red mark from the rope—like a brand that wouldn’t fade.

I held my finger beneath his nose. Though unconscious, thankfully, he was still breathing steadily.

“…He’s alive.”

I wasn’t too late.

He was alive.

The moment I realized that, the tension that had been strangling me like a tightly drawn bowstring suddenly released, and an overwhelming wave of fatigue crashed over my entire body.

“…Thank you. Truly, thank you.”

I had thought this was the end. Even though I had finally met him again in this second life, the thought of it all ending so meaninglessly was unbearable.

If I hadn’t been able to save him this time either, I had planned to follow after him. In a world without him, there was no longer any reason for me to go on living.

But now, he was right here in front of me.

Clutching the pocket watch in both hands, I offered a sincere prayer to the god who had given me another chance.

“…Thank you so much.”

[When the time comes, the balance must be paid. And if someone injects magical power into this sacred relic, they will be able to glimpse a timeline that no longer exists. There is only one chance—so choose wisely.]

With those final words, I felt no more energy from the pocket watch.

Whatever the payment may be… I was simply grateful.

I could still be with him from now on.

I wrung out even the last remnants of my strength to lay him down on the bed. Then, as if collapsing, I fell into his arms and whispered softly.

“…Don’t ever leave me again. Van, stay by my side for the rest of your life.”

.

.

.

A cold breeze slipped in through the cracked window. Worried he might catch a cold, I went to close it, only for a certain image to flash through my mind.

‘That window…’

I brushed the thought aside and turned to look at him, sleeping deeply. The way he breathed softly like a newborn was utterly endearing.

Long lashes, sharp eyes, a prominent nose, lips neither too full nor too thin. So beautiful that even if he were a woman, anyone would believe it.

Staring at him for a while, I had to forcefully suppress the desire rising inside me.

‘Ah… Van…’

I wanted to kiss his lips. I wanted to whisper my love into his ear.

If I stayed like this, I feared I wouldn’t be able to hold back any longer, so I took a deep breath.

“Phew…”

Hearing his gentle breaths, soft like a baby’s, gradually calmed my heart.

‘At least his head should be fine, right?’

I slowly reached out and carefully ran my fingers through his hair. It was incredibly soft. Was that something one was just born with? Then, something about his hair caught my eye.

Hair that had once been as black as ebony had now turned a shade of ash gray. It seemed to grow whiter with time.

That meant… it had been that painful. Painful enough to fade the color from his hair.

How much pain must he have endured?

What kind of dreams was he seeing now?

I desperately hoped that, at the very least, it wasn’t a nightmare. That even in his dreams, he would feel some semblance of happiness.

But contrary to my wishes, he twisted and turned with a pained expression on his face. I gently took his hand in mine, hoping that my warmth would soothe his heart.

I whispered that everything would be okay.

“Why…”

It’s okay, Van. I’ll stay by your side for the rest of my life. I’m right here beside you. So everything will be fine. I’ll protect you.

“Why did you do something like that… Bestia…?”

You have me by your side now.

‘So please, don’t call another woman’s name with those lovely lips.’

At last—at long last, he opened his eyes.

How long I had waited for this day…

Trying my best to keep a calm expression, I steadied my voice and spoke softly.

“You’ve finally awakened, my lord.”

“……”

He stared at me blankly with a dazed look. Even that expression—lost and bewildered—was so unbearably lovely that it made it hard to breathe.

I love you. I love you, Van.

He tried to sit up.

There’s no way he could do it alone…

It was fine. I was by his side. From now on, I would become his legs.

With a pale expression, he rubbed at his two legs—legs that could no longer move.

Knowing they no longer functioned, why did he do that? The behavior was strange, unlike him, and it made me uneasy.

Silently observing, I stepped toward him.

“Would you like to go for a walk?”

I figured he was acting this way out of frustration. It was completely understandable.

Born the youngest in the Empire’s greatest knightly family, and gifted beyond measure—only to lose the use of his legs overnight. The despair must have been unimaginable.

Maybe getting some fresh air would ease his heart, even just a little.

I carefully lifted him and set him in the wheelchair. Just that brief moment of skin contact made my heart race.

I did my best not to let it show as I wheeled him over to the full-length mirror.

With such a handsome face, there wasn’t much to fix. I tidied his disheveled hair and straightened his clothes.

Hmm…

Yes, perfect.

I felt like I was falling in love all over again.

At this point, I couldn’t tell whether I loved Van Descartes, or Ran Winterbell.

Was it when he took his own life…? Perhaps it had started even before then.

But soon, I realized that such distinctions no longer mattered. Van Descartes and Ran Winterbell were ultimately one and the same.

He was simply someone born with two souls.

The fact remained that Van Descartes had been reincarnated as Ran Winterbell.

Ran Winterbell stared fixedly at his reflection in the mirror. Perhaps he, too, had been captivated by his own beautiful appearance.

It was fine to be absorbed, but if he became too engrossed, it would be troublesome. I found myself thinking that if he ended up loving himself, there would be no room left for me.

I knew that even having such thoughts was excessive, but as time passed, this feeling only continued to grow, beyond my control.

Even so, I did not lose my composure. In front of him, I always had to appear as a calm and relaxed maid.

“…What is the matter, young master?”

“Cecil. What year is it right now?”

Why was he asking something like that? From his tone to the atmosphere around him, he was different from the person I knew.

Something was definitely… different.

Could it be…?

“That is a strange question. It is Imperial Year 322… Young master, could it be that—?”

I did not finish the sentence. I did not want to provoke him unnecessarily with a hasty conclusion.

“Hm?”

“…It is nothing.”

He continued to look at me as he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

“…Cecil, do you know about the hero?”

Malero Saladin.

How could I not know?

There would be no one in this world who did not know him. He was that famous a hero. However, the reason I knew him went beyond mere fame.

‘Why does he keep asking such out-of-the-blue questions?’

My suspicion gradually turned into certainty.

“Of course. From children to the elderly living in this Empire, there would be no one who does not know of Hero Malero Saladin, who saved the world.”

Upon hearing that, Ran Winterbell asked another question, his voice trembling even more than before.

“Ah, then what about his companions?”

He seemed to be trying to hide his emotions, but he did not appear to realize that his fingertips were shaking.

“When it comes to the hero’s companions, the most famous would undoubtedly be the legendary mage Bestia, who was bestowed with the title of ‘Blue.’”

The moment he heard that, his expression cooled completely.

“…Were there no others? Someone like Van Descartes, for example…”

My heart pounded violently. Still, I did not show it. Until he spoke of it himself, there was no need for me to make a fuss.

“I do not know why you are asking such questions, young master, but you must not ask others about this.”

“Why?”

“Because even mentioning his name is taboo.”

A pleasant scent drifted from him.

Come to think of it, he wore clothes I washed every day, and he ate food I prepared every day. In his small world, there was only me.

Seeing him look at me with an expression of utter disbelief, a mad desire surged within me to pull him into my arms and stroke his back.

“Even mentioning his name is taboo…? Just what did he do to deserve that?”

“Van Descartes. The worst and most heinous murderer in history, who colluded with the demonic race—humanity’s sworn enemy—and brutally slaughtered his own companions. It is not known exactly what purpose he had in doing so, but it is said that before the situation could worsen further, the hero and Lady Bestia joined forces to stop him. It is truly fortunate.”

“…Ha.”

“Young master?”

“Hahaha!”

Ran Winterbell suddenly burst out laughing like a madman.

The moment I saw that…

I was certain that Van Descartes had returned.

A shiver ran through my entire body.

Ah…!

Look at that delicate face.

How could I not love it? How could I not fall for him?

My head was completely filled with thoughts of him.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

While I had been briefly lost in my thoughts, blood began to drip from his lips. It was from biting down, unable to control his surging emotions.

I nearly lost my own mind, too.

“Young master, your lips are bleeding…”

I quickly pulled out the handkerchief I always kept in my pocket and wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. I always carried it to tend to him, and it was useful in times like this.

“…You’re acting a bit strange today. Did you have a nightmare last night?”

“Yeah. I did… A really terrible nightmare.”

“Let’s go get some fresh air. I’ll escort you.”

I accompanied him to the garden. He remained silent the entire time, as if lost in thought.

When we arrived at the garden, a cool breeze welcomed us, as if to greet our arrival. We stood for a while, admiring the flowers.

Colorful blossoms were in full bloom. But none of them were more beautiful than the one standing before me.

He suddenly lifted his head and looked up at the sky. Then, in a very faint voice, he murmured something.

Perhaps he didn’t want me to hear, but I had already enhanced my hearing through mana.

Ever since that day, I had kept my hearing enhanced twenty-four hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days a year, prepared for anything that might happen.

“…You’ve suffered a lot too, haven’t you.”

Were those words spoken by Van Descartes… to Ran Winterbell?

“If you’ve been wronged, you should pay it back.”

He was right.

Repay kindness twofold, grudges tenfold.

It was my favorite saying. Because in his past life, Van Descartes used to say it like a mantra.

“The wind’s colder than I expected. Shall I get you a shawl?”

“No. It’s perfect. Thanks to it, my head feels clear.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“Cecil.”

“Yes.”

“I need power.”

“Power?”

“Yeah. The kind of overwhelming, tyrannical strength that lets me walk my path proudly, unshaken by any outside force.”

“In that case, you’ll have to become the Patriarch.”

“Patriarch? If I become the head of the Winterbell family, will I be able to gain that kind of power?”

“Of course. If you truly become the ruler of the North, even the Emperor of the Empire won’t dare oppose you. That is the weight carried by the King of Winterbell.”

“Then I’ll have to become Patriarch.”

He knew exactly what those words meant—becoming the Patriarch of the Winterbell Ducal Family, the greatest sword lineage on the continent.

He had once given up his position as successor and withdrawn from the internal succession war.

He, who had lost his will to live day by day, unable to endure the pressure and fear, now…

Declared, with shining crimson eyes, that he would become Patriarch.

Ah…

He had truly returned.

I felt like I might burst into tears at any moment. The overwhelming emotions surged up, and I had to force them down with effort.

Carefully, so that not a single drop would spill, I stacked those precious feelings one by one inside the jewel box of my heart.

Until the day he revealed his true identity with his own lips, I would not let these emotions show.

Fortunately, I was good at hiding how I felt. Though, I would need to try harder than ever before now.

“If that is truly the path you wish to walk, young master, then I will serve you. I will always be by your side.”

“…Thank you, Cecil.”

His voice was slightly damp with emotion, and I was briefly startled—but I kept a calm face, pretending not to notice. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like he sensed anything unusual.

It was a monumental day.

Today would surely become a day I could never forget, no matter how hard I tried.

If I hadn’t made that deal with the god named ‘Klam’… No, if I hadn’t accepted that old woman’s proposal in the first place, this future would never have come to be.